Ah, the first night – a magical, mysterious, and slightly nerve-wracking experience. You’ve tied the knot, thrown the bouquet, and danced the night away, and now it’s time for the grand finale: the much-talked-about first night. While movies and well-meaning friends (or family member) could have described how painful it would be, believe me, there is only a small piece of truth in it. Let me tell you 5 secrets about the first night that nobody else will tell you.
So, grab your favorite snack (for me it’s a pickled cucumber. What? I am Polish!) and let’s begin.
1. You Will Certainly Face at Least One Unexpected Event
From tangled sheets to unexpected laughter, be ready for anything. It’s okay if things don’t go exactly as planned – sometimes the unplanned moments make the best memories. Believe me, there will be a moment or two when you will get into panic or uncontrolled laugh mode and be like “What on earth…?”. Since I am sharing these secrets with you, I’ll share them completely. Here are some examples of what can happen:
Lost in Translation
You and your fresh husband, both eager to begin the action, start using terms you thought were universally understood. For example, believe me or not, but clitoris does not exist in men’s dictionary, at least for the first year of marriage. Suddenly, you find yourselves in a hilarious game of charades trying to decipher each other’s unique vocabulary for, well, intimate activities. It’s a moment where laughter becomes the universal language.
The Overenthusiastic Bed Jump
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, excitement can get the better of you. A playful, but not really careful, attempt to jump onto the bed results in an unintended crash landing. Yup, you want to be passionate and ease the tension with excitement and you end up breaking your brand new bed from IKEA. But that’s okay! The ensuing laughter and the realization that gravity is not always on your side can turn an awkward moment into a fond memory.
The Epic Battle with Lingerie
You’ve spent hours picking out the perfect lingerie, but when the time comes to unveil your masterpiece, it turns into an unexpected wrestling match. Straps go rogue, hooks play hard to get, and you both end up in fits of laughter, realizing that perhaps simplicity has its own charm. It is totally okay and cute. Ladies, let’s be honest, some bra zips are so hard to unlock that they could be successfully protecting bank locks. 😂
The Great Pillow Fort
Amidst the romantic ambiance, you decide to build a fortress of pillows for added comfort. Little did you know that this cozy haven would turn into a battleground as you both struggle to find the perfect balance between comfort and practicality. Spoiler alert: It’s harder than it looks.
The Mystery of the Vanishing Socks
In the midst of all the excitement, socks have a tendency to mysteriously disappear. One minute, you’re both fully dressed, and the next, you’re on a mission to locate the missing socks. It’s a whimsical moment that adds a touch of hilarity to the proceedings. Till this day I cannot find my red flat wedding shoes. I am serious – be prepared that you will permanently lose your socks or stockings on that night.
Food Fiasco
Perhaps you had the romantic idea of incorporating some delicious treats into your first-night festivities. However, what you didn’t anticipate was the crumbles, spills, and unintentional food fights that would inevitably ensue. Who knew that strawberries could be so slippery? Or that your stomach will make a soundtrack to your first night?
2. You Most Probably Won’t Do It
Whaaaaaat? How so? Yup, I was just surprised as you are. But look, you have never done it, your fresh husband (hopefully) also did not. You both want it to be amazing and this pressure simply can make you both physically not ready for it. And that’s okay! You’re married so the whole act can happen the next day, in a week or even in a few months. Do not put pressure on yourself that you have to lose virginity in a physical sense. It is already a huge thing to be naked and admire each other.
3. If You Use Protection, It Will Be Awkward.
Unless he was not practicing secretly, it might take a while to handle condoms for instance. You’re in a passionate rush and then there is a pause to use anticonception. I completely do not know how they do it so sneaky and fast in the movies! But in real life it is not sneaky at all, and can be awkward. But that’s okay! It’s also exciting and new.
4. You Will Feel Shock After You See Your Husband Naked.
Why would you feel it? You probably saw your little brother naked or this anatomy model in the biology textbook. But that was just peeking to have more less understanding on how it looks like. But the first night is a different game. For sure you will feel big “OH!”. I’ll tell you more, you might feel confused (how will it fit inside of me?), scared (oh that will be painful) or even disgusted. It’s normal! It does not mean you are not attracted to your husband. It just means you are a woman and you are having your first night. The shock will pass in a day or two or even in a few weeks and this is not weird.
5. You Will or Will Not Feel Pain.
Ha, Marysia, pick one. Nah, I won’t, because I would lie. I was told that the first night is super painful and I will hate it. Was it true or not? I won’t tell you 😉 But what I can share is that every body is different and you might feel discomfort during the first night or you might not even notice that something happened. Do not panic or stick to the idea that it might be really painful. There are ways to ease the pain if it appears.
Same with the blood – maybe you’ll bleed maybe you won’t. In both cases it’s all fine. But just in case, do not use the white bedsheets. 🙂
6. You Won’t Know What to Do.
In the world of cinema, every line is scripted, every move planned. Real life, however, doesn’t come with a script. The first night is a unique experience, and trying to adhere to a predetermined set of actions can lead to unnecessary stress. Instead of following a script, let the night unfold organically. Be present, be genuine, and enjoy the spontaneity of the moment. Even if you will ask “What now” multiple times during the first night, it is okay.
7. It’s JUST the First Night!
The first night is just that – the first night. It’s a beautiful beginning to a lifetime of shared moments, laughter, and love. Don’t put too much pressure on this one night to define your entire marriage. Instead, see it as a stepping stone to a deeper connection with your partner. Because even if it is a night you will remember till the end of your life, there will be many more. So let the pressure go.
Now You’re Ready for It!
You have discovered 7 secrets about the first night nobody talks about. It might seem overwhelming, but now you are prepared, and instead of getting a panic attack both of you can have a laughter attack. The first night is a memorable, sometimes awkward, and often humorous thread, but it’s not the whole story. Embrace the quirks, the laughter, and the unexpected twists that come with the first night, and remember that this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey with your partner. So, here’s to many more nights filled with love, laughter, and the joy of discovering each other anew. Cheers to the first night and all the nights that follow!
Tell me my precious reader, which of the secrets were new to you?
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