Christian Dating Advice – How to Date Jesus’ Style

Being a Christian and trusting Jesus as your Savior and Lord changes everything – including dating. It is not the easiest to date the right way, but no worries. I am coming to you with Christian dating advice so you can not only date the way that pleases God but also find a spouse material.

There is not one way that is better than the other but there are some tips that can make your dating life… well, Christian dating life.

It is clear that Jesus was not dating – I mean, being a Savior of the world is pretty occupying on its own 🙂 – and the Bible does not talk about dating so much. At least, not directly.

The Bible on Dating

As I’ve said, the Bible does not talk about dating in a modern sense understood as getting to know somebody romantically. BUT it does say a few things that set the standards for that.

Let me warn you that they are not easy. And the Christian dating advice I’m about to share is not there to shame you in any way. I was dating my boyfriend (now my husband, yay!) obeying these rules and it felt safe, purposeful, and most importantly – it felt Christ-like.

Let’s start from the very beginning – you know, God created a man and a woman. And then “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

God created one of the most amazing unions – marriage! And as long as the exclusivity of sex is clear in this passage, my husband and I went further and decided not to even kiss before marriage. If you’re interested in why, check this article.

Christian Dating Advice #1 – Do Not Date Unbelievers

Many of you won’t like it and it is understandable. Today’s world screams about tolerance and dating somebody who is not a Christian should be okay.

Well, is it really?

You know Hermione from Harry Potter – her motto was “Whenever in doubt, go to the library”. So I’ll say “Whenever in doubt, go to the Bible”.

The Bible is not silent about it, just look: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor 6:14).

Hey, I saw that! You just rolled your eyes, didn’t you? 😀

Well, if you’re thinking something like “But I’m sure my Pippin/Pippina can get to know God because of me”. Honey, let me tell you something.

First of all – it is highly improbable. Believe me, I have known many couples like this. Never worked out that way.

And second, this is not a good example for your partner – you putting your values aside just to be with them.

And the third one – you’re saying you can lead them to God. But, honestly. How many times did they already lead you astray? You don’t have to answer that. Just think about it.

Christian Dating Advice #2 Date to Get Married

Dating without the intention of getting married is harmful. For you and the other person.

Just think about it from a purely emotional perspective. You date to have fun, possibly take some liberties, and then break up.

So you took something from this person. You bit an apple.

Of course, there are situations when you date somebody to get married and things just don’t work out. That’s a completely different situation.

If you are not “ready” for marriage, do not date.

Remember we are talking about God’s sons or daughters. Would you really dare to stand before God Almighty Himself and say “Well, God, I am not really serious about them, but I wanna date them ya know, casually…”.

Woah, I wouldn’t.

#3 Set Boundaries From Day One

Let’s be honest – we are only humans. And if you are dating your Pippin or Pippina then I bet you are simply attracted to them.

That’s a good thing! BUT… if you are not cautious, the devil can squeeze through the smallest crack.

I am not saying you cannot control yourself and on a second (or – oh dread – first) date you will end up in bed, but still, forewarned is forarmed.

After you ask your chosen one to be yours it is wise to agree on some lines. For example, do you stay alone in private places, do you kiss, do you cuddle? You both need to agree on these things while being emotionally sober.

I mean, you are the warrior of God. And the best defense from the enemy’s attacks is… an attack itself.

#4 Do Not Date for Too Long

Aha, another roll of eyes. You are a temperamental reader, ain’t you? 😉

I know that long can have a different definition for everybody. But let me tell you something. If you have been dating somebody for around a year and you are not sure if you want to marry them – don’t.

I’m serious! If you did not get this peace from God after 12 months, I doubt you’ll ever have that.

We got married after 5 months of dating. We just knew. Because we got to know each other deeply and both of us felt huge peace about the other person.

So if you are sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person and you see in them qualities of a Godly warrior too, waiting is unnecessary. Not to mention that the sexual temptation grows the longer you date.

And the enemy is like a lion who walks around you to attack at any moment. Do not let him.

#5 Be Mindful of Red Flags

Somebody once told me that you should have your eyes wide open before getting married and squint them afterward. Isn’t it the essence of mindful, Christian dating advice?

If you see something concerning, do not hesitate to leave. It is not wise to stay in a relationship that has potential to for example sabotage your spiritual growth.

Sometimes we are so blinded by emotions we do not see the obvious red flags. Or rather, we don’t want to see them.

But good for us, our friends and family can stay sober. So if a few people already mentioned something concerning to you, do not reject that thinking they just want to destroy everything.

If your partner shows behavior that’s totally opposite to what is in the Bible or simply to what seems right, pure, and decent (you know, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable” – Philippians 4:8), then well…

We are sinners and I do not deny that probably all of us have at least one thing we fight with. Yet, if one does not show any sign of Triple R (I just came up with it 🙂 – Regret, Repentance, and Reconciliation), then that’s bad.

#6 Have Standards as High as Mount Sinai

Yes, yes, yes! Jesus wants you to have high standards, not only when it comes to dating someone but also for yourself. If you want to attract a sweet, Godly person – become one!

But you should not settle for less than God offers. I mean, look at Song of Solomon (or better don’t look if you’re not married), Genesis, Letters to Corinthians, and so on. It is full of Godly vision for marriage. Exclusivity, purity, devotion, trust, becoming one flesh… sounds perfect!

Do not take shortcuts, and do not agree to relationships that are far from being set for that design. High standards are a wonderful thing.

Yes, maybe your friends will roll their eyes at you or it will take you longer to find your one and only, but waiting is so worth it!

Do not step into a relationship unless you have a clear peace from God it’s from Him.

Christian Dating Advice – Bonus Point

Well, now we’re reaching the crucial point that can take you out of Egypt and bring you to Cannan. The essence of Christian dating advice.

Are you ready? It is a secret knowledge so I can only whisper. But the most powerful words are spoken in silence.

Okay, so here it comes:

Invest in your relationship with God before you invest in any other one.

And don’t you dare roll your eyes now! 😀

The closer to God you draw, the more like Jesus you become, and the more you shine with the fruits of the Holy Spirit… the closer you are to entering the amazing partnership with your future spouse.

Don’t know where to start? I have an article for daughters of Christ who want to work on being wife material, but also one for Jesus’ sons aspiring to be husbands one day.

Let the work start now! 🙂

He Knows Better

You know, probably you were in a hopeless situation once or twice. Maybe you even started doubting if you will ever find somebody…

First of all, there is nothing bad in staying single. I know in modern times it might seem scary and weird, but it is not according to the Bible.

Yet, if you think that God’s plan for you is to get married, and it indeed is in His plan, it will happen sooner or later.

You might be almost sure the time for it is now, but He knows better. Trusting that He has everything under control keeps you cool and not desperate.

And the desperation is the element that should not appear there. So the last Christian dating advice – trust the Lord and… do not be desperate! 🙂

Do You Need More Guidance to Start Dating Jesus’s Style? I Have an Ebook That Will Help You Get There: