This post will be a little different than the other ones. I’ve been blogging about colorful fashion and Christian lifestyle for women for a while and I think it’s time I share WHY I wear such crazy colorful clothes. Because believe it or not, there is a whole story behind it.
I know some of you can relate to many things I’m about to share and I do hope you’ll find something valuable in my story. I aim to inspire you and show you a fresh perspective, but if I fail to do so, then well, at least I’ll annoy you with my not-so-perfect English 🙂
The story starts many years ago, I got lost in calculations, but for sure it will be around 10 years. Even more. Wait, how old am I? 23…24…25! Ops, then yes, this happened more than 10 years ago. Does it make me old? 😀
Sorry for going off the road, let’s come back to the story. Let’s start from the very beginning.
Marysia Born As Maria
Surprise, surprise, my true name is Maria. But I hate it, so I go with the cuter version Marysia.
When I was born, my mum was young, so we were still living with my grandparents. I absolutely adored them, but sadly they had an issue with alcohol.
My childhood was full of colors, but also there was lots of darkness in it. I do not want to write anything disturbing, so I’ll not go into details, but let’s just say these things quickly turned a super happy child into a depressed one.
And then came school. Hand up everybody who couldn’t wait for school so badly, and when it finally started… after the very first day there you were swimming in your tears and begging your mum to take you home and not to ever come back to this place of misery and mean kids.
I had the same. I did not have many friends at the beginning and I was drowning deeper into the sad and black loneliness. I know you’ve been there too.
I always admired colorful clothes, but I was too shy to wear them. So I was wearing “boring” clothes (although my mum would describe them as simply normal).
Till one day… I bought a yellow shirt. Like, happy, bright New York taxi yellow! Paired it with black pants still, to be safe, but I must have looked differently because Mum insisted on taking a picture of me. Something has changed, but just on the outside.
The Good News
I looked different but felt the same. Sad, depressed, lonely. There was a particular situation in my family that spilled it.
Ah, I’ve promised not to write anything disturbing, but maybe my sharing will help those who struggle with the same thoughts. Yes, you guessed right, I wanted to end my life.
And by wanted to I mean I was practically ready to do so, with a knife, locked in my bedroom. A few days before this dramatic scene my friend (well, back then just an acquaintance) told me something that I had never heard before.
He said I am loved. I am so loved that a person (or rather THE most amazing and fantastic Person) has given up His life for me. I was drowning in my sins, my loneliness and darkness, and there He was, offering me His sacrifice and all I needed to do was to accept it.
Historically, I knew Jesus existed and was resurrected. But in that moment for the first time in forever, I heard about Jesus as a real God who cares about me and is inviting me to a life I have never dreamed of before. A life that never ends.
But yet, I found myself ready to reject it.
The Choice
So there I was kneeling and shaking, about to kill myself. It felt like this moment when you’ve been drowning for so long that you give up and not look for the surface anymore. You decide to stay at the bottom and… die.
But then I looked at the small blue Bible that was in my house for years, just like in almost every Polish house. I’ve reached for it and started reading. It was only the New Testament and I quickly got captured by the stories of man and God in one, the savior, the essence of love.
In my world overpowered by darkness, I’ve found a book full of light and colors. In this dark water, I saw a glow, a peak of the surface. Now it all sounded too beautiful to be true. So I gave myself a week. Or gave God a week, of how brave was I, not knowing the fear of the Lord back then 🙂
I’ve prayed, did not know that I was praying, but I very clearly meant what I’ve said: “Jesus, if it is all true, and you did what you did, then show me. Show me in the next week you’re there because I want to give my life to you instead of ending it. You gave yours for me after all”.
At this very moment, I felt like a soft, invisible blanket was covering me, and oh my, my spinning thoughts finally got some rest. I felt His presence, and not only felt but knew. That day changed my life. Pfff, not only changed but saved as well. A week passed and not then, not ever since a suicidal thought crossed my mind.
The Colors of Salvation
It was not that suddenly all of my problems disappeared as we so often see in worship music videos. 🙂 But I was changed, and step by step I was becoming a different person.
One day I completely gave up my birth name, Maria, which sounded too serious and sad, and clothed myself in Marysia. You know, to be a little dramatic 😉 I did not change it on my paper ID, but my identity card in my heart has changed.
And oh, I started to see the world in different shades. I’ve discovered that my soul is enthusiastic and excited about little things, creative, curious, and soft (so many colors!). God gave me peace, so I wanted to wear blue that resembles that. I was having fun in life, experiencing His joy, so it was only right to wear happy yellow. I’ve discovered the beauty of feminity and kindness, so hey, pink it is.
I’ve seen symbols of colors and how they affect me. I’ve discovered that I can show the beauty of God’s character not only by clothing myself in His Word but also by embracing the colors that He created. I was (and still am!) in love with the earth He made. I want to put it on and let black and grey rest. I was saved after all! And the eternal future with God awaits me. Such a joy deserves colorful attire!
The Fruits of Colors
And here I am, dressing up as a clown and super content with it 🙂 And that’s what I want to teach you – how you can find the colors of your soul. And glorify God with clothes as well.
Together with my husband, I’ve created a colorful fashion store – for you to have the most colorful and unique clothes in one place. Because I believe that not only clothes can show your inner change, but it can go all the way around 🙂
Wearing fun and exciting colors can make you more confident, feel special, and embrace your uniqueness. Because girl, if Jesus is willing to leave 99 sheep to save you, I think it says something 😉
So go ahead, explore the kingdom of colors, and feel like a princess!
Explore at marysiascolorfulcloset.com
Some Pop of Color on the Video
My dear friend and talented journalist Ira (I’m so honored to know her!) made a short video to show you what my colorful life looks like 🙂 So if this story did not convince you to add more colors to your life, hopefully, this video will:
So this is it, my story, or actually a story of Jesus saving yet another person and giving her a new life. The life that’s full of hope, peace, and the colors of His Kingdom. The only one worth living.