We are bombarded with less or more useful advice about improving a marriage, but hey, nobody tells you how to ruin your marriage 😉 So here I am, presenting you with the best (or the worst) anti-advice on marriage.
Take it with a grain of salt and a pinch of laugh, but also see some useful reversed tips to save your marriage from being ruined.
1. Talk Badly About Your Spouse Publicly
The best way to ruin your marriage is by bringing up all the flaws and disadvantages of your partner to the public. So complain about your husband not washing the dishes. Tell them how rarely he takes you on dates. Gossip, gossip, and gossip some more.
What can also be very helpful in ruining your marriage is overdramatizing everything that your spouse does (or doesn’t) and painting yourself as a victim. Use strong words like “always”, and “never” and emphasize how unhappy you are in this marriage.
And one more thing – don’t you even try to solve your issues privately! Make a drama, and let the whole city know about it.
Also, don’t you dare compliment your husband in front of others, nah nah. If you want to ruin your marriage, you need to put in some effort, right? 😉 Bonus points for not complimenting your husband AT ALL.
2. Go Out With Other Men Often and Uncontrollably
I’m serious, if you want to ruin your marriage, then you need to have zero rules. So hey, chat with other men every day, send them your cute selfies and if you want to ruin your marriage FAST – get flirty!
Treat your husband for granted and let him know you have many options in this life and he’s not the best of them. Humiliate him and show zero respect.
If you want to get advanced, you can always share more with your friends and colleagues than with him. Then you’ll pretty quickly see that your marriage is going towards ruin. Well done, I guess?
Completely reject the idea of exclusivity in marriage and forget “I’ll be yours forever” – but rather do whatever you want with whoever you want.
3. Withdraw Sex
Physical intimacy is crucial in marriage so of course to ruin it you need to avoid it as a fire. Do not initiate and when your husband does it, choose one of the best excuses:
a. headache
b. tiredness
c. you ate too many potatoes and you feel bloated
These excuses work best when combined.
Your goal is to hold him away from you as long as possible and ignore his obvious gestures. Make him feel like a failure.
If you really, truly want to ruin your marriage – do everything for him NOT TO feel desired. That’s the golden rule, you hear me?
4. Question EVERY Decision He Makes
If you are serious about ruining your marriage, you cannot respect your husband. I mean, don’t even think about it.
If he makes a big decision, nag and criticize it – the louder, the better! – and never let him have the last word. Become a boss lady and the leader of the house.
Shut him down and prove to him that he has zero skills in making decisions, whether it is about finances or how to make a sandwich.
Control his day, give orders, and do not let him get disobedient. Behave like you are the head of the family and you do not even need him. Are we clear?
5. Roll Your Eyes Minimally 3 Times Per Day
Scientists prove that rolling eyes whenever your husband talks can increase the chances of you ruining your marriage by up to 68%.
If your husband suggests something – then roll your eyes. He is trying to advise you and help out – roll your eyes. He is sharing his concerns about the amount of potatoes you eat – let’s say this together: Roll your eyes!
Rolling eyes is a very disrespectful gesture and that’s what we’re aiming at – so the more obvious and dramatic you make it, the more disrespectful it looks like.
And didn’t you say you want to ruin your marriage? Then every inch of respect is forbidden!
6. Complain About Your Husband Regularly
Complaining should become your daily routine. Start small – the way he washed the dishes last time, how not symmetrically he cut the carrots, and that he bought one kilo of potatoes even though you told him to buy two.
Then move on to the bigger things – how awful he is in bed, how little money he brings home, how lazy he is.
Bonus points for comparing! Compare him to the actors (especially to Brad Pitt, men hate that!), to your girlfriends’ husbands, to the plumber, to the neighbor, to the Aliexpress courier. Your job is to find every opportunity to humiliate your husband.
Present your husband to others in the worst light ever – you are a victim and he is a lazy and ugly predator. You want to make sure people see it that way. You hear me?
7. Do Not Put Any Effort
Pretty makeup and lovely dresses are reserved for others now. When you’re with your husband make sure you look like a homeless person.
Never surprise him with a cute outfit, never show that you care, always dress up for others only.
You must not let him feel appreciated and special – otherwise, your marriage can improve.
Sometimes ruining your marriage starts with ruining your appearance, you know?
8. Be Cold Like an Ice Cube
Forget about cuddling or any other form of affection. Do not welcome your husband home warmly – rather pretend like you didn’t notice his presence.
Kisses, hugs, or affirming words – forget that from now on! You cannot allow yourself to show these small, spontaneous gestures like this.
You need to become cold and dangerous, punishing your husband by refusing to give him affection.
Good Luck!
Ruining your marriage requires some work, but you can do this. As the last piece of advice, I can…
Okay, enough. 🙂 This reversed article was supposed to show you that some small things can roll down like a snowball and create a disaster.
Now, I am sure you are a wise and lovely wife and you do not want your marriage to be ruined. Maybe you’re hurt, frustrated, and simply not happy, but hey, there is good news.
You can make it better. Step by step you can make your marriage more intimate and romantic. How?
Start by doing exactly the opposite of what you’ve read in this article 🙂
Want more? Here are some tips for you!