This might be the question on everyone’s mind but that no one really wants to ask out loud. What are the gender roles in Christian dating? So, here we are, talking about it – friend to friend, over a cup of virtual tea. The topic is gender roles, and honestly, if you’re thinking this sounds old-fashioned, well… better take a cookie.
Because I believe that gender roles still exist and society should stop pretending like they don’t. Seriously. The Bible is clear about it. So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Gensis 1:27)
We have women and men. Period. And women and men have their own different and beautiful roles.
This applies to dating as well. That’s why today we will break the taboo and discover gender roles in Christian dating.
Probably you have lots of questions like “Is it always a man who should take the lead” or “Is it wrong for a woman to initiate?”. You’re in the right place. We will answer all of your doubts once and for all. Let’s dive right in!
The Biblical Map
Before we start, it’s worth mentioning that, yes, the Bible does provide some guidance on gender roles, and no, it’s not putting one gender above the other. Instead, it’s full of partnership advice that puts love, respect, and selflessness right at the center. So, let’s break down some key ideas!
1. Leadership isn’t domination
Yep, you heard it. Leadership in dating (and later, marriage) isn’t about someone giving orders. The biblical concept of leadership, especially in relationships, is all about serving, protecting, and supporting each other.
So leading doesn’t mean that men have to be the “relationship bosses”; it means loving like Christ loves – which, let’s face it, is a pretty high bar. Ladies, support isn’t blind obedience; it’s about respecting and encouraging your partner’s growth as you follow God together.
2. MUTUAL respect is important
The Bible says to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). You’re both helping each other grow closer to God. This is the foundation for deciding who initiates the forms of dates. (P.S. If he’s constantly leading you to the couch for another Netflix and Chill session instead of a Bible study, maybe take the lead and suggest a new hobby.)
3. You can take the initiative, girl!
Let’s clear this up: It’s perfectly okay for a woman to express interest first. The Bible doesn’t condemn a woman for saying, “Hey, want to grab coffee?”.
Ruth took some bold steps with Boaz (yes, the Boaz every single woman has heard about), and spoiler alert – it worked out for her! It’s about balance, really, and if you’re both honoring each other and God, who says a lady can’t make the first move?
Of course, I would love for all the men to be brave gentlemen, but if he doesn’t have a clue you like him, how can he ask you out? Sometimes one green light is enough for your church crush to see what’s up.
4. Dating is a preparation for marriage
Dating is really about preparing for marriage – a partnership that’s both exciting and real work. So, if you’re supporting each other’s dreams, goals, and faith, then suddenly gender roles in Christian dating get clear.
Recently I’ve heard very wise words “Woman’s submission is balanced with man’s love”. With the right guy, you will once and for all stop wondering what is your role and what’s his.
So, What Are the Gender Roles in Christian Dating?
When we look at gender roles in the Bible, we often find themes of loving leadership, respect, and partnership. Scriptures like Ephesians 5:22-33 offer a model where husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church,” and wives are called to respect their husbands.
In dating, these roles can show up as a natural balance: men may take the lead in making plans or spiritual growth, but that doesn’t mean women are passive.
Instead, both are called to support, encourage, and challenge each other. Think of dating as a foundation for teamwork in marriage—where, yes, guys can lead, but that leadership is all about loving, serving, and making space for each other’s gifts and strengths to shine. The Bible’s guidance on roles is really about laying down selfishness and showing up for one another fully and unselfishly.
Gender Roles in Christian Dating – What Does a Man Do?
According to gender roles in Christian dating, a man’s role, as described in the Bible, is about leading with integrity, respect, and intentionality. So he takes initiative, planning dates and looking for ways to get to know his partner deeply, all while keeping Christ at the center. Look, if he cannot plan a proper date, how can you be sure he can plan a lifetime with you?
This means he’s not just casually hanging out but pursuing with purpose, aiming to see if this relationship has the potential for marriage. His leadership isn’t about control; it’s about building a foundation of trust and showing he’s someone who can provide you with support, emotional stability, and encouragement.
He’s also humble enough to listen, learn, and allow your perspectives to shape him. Above all, he treats you with the honor (gentleman!) and kindness that mirrors Christ’s love—keeping his actions, words, and intentions aligned with the values presented in the Bible.
Is it clear, dear reader? That’s the date material you’re looking for. 🙂
And What Do You Do As a Woman?
A woman’s role, according to biblical principles, is all about nurturing the relationship with grace, and respect, and giving joyful companionship. You should respond to your partner’s intentional pursuit with openness and kindness, getting to know him deeply and exploring whether he shares a vision for life and faith.
Rather than being passive, you can actively engage in the relationship, bringing your unique strengths, encouragement, and insights. Make sure to support him in his leadership, but also feel free to offer your own perspectives and wisdom, helping him grow and inviting him to do the same for you.
Believe me when I say it – you bring out his best by affirming his strengths. Ultimately, your role is about building a partnership that reflects faith and supporting the journey toward a love that honors God.
See how important your role is. It is way more than being a princess and waiting to receive flowers and chocolates 😉
Why Is It Good to Follow Gender Roles in Christian Dating?
Following biblical gender roles in Christian dating brings clarity, purpose, and a deep sense of peace to the relationship. When each person understands their role—whether leading with care or responding with grace—they’re creating a foundation that mirrors God’s design for marriage.
It creates trust, minimizes confusion, and encourages both partners to give of themselves fully, each bringing their unique strengths to the relationship. Embracing these roles isn’t about limiting each other but about laying the foundation for a love that lasts, one that respects each person’s identity and spiritual growth.
In a world where relationships can feel chaotic or uncertain, the wisdom of biblical roles offers a path to joy, unity, and the kind of love that reflects Christ’s heart for His people.
And believe me, it’s the best kind of love you can imagine.