If you are a Christian girl who recently got married (or is about to get married -in both cases, congratulations!), you start asking yourself THE questions. How to be a biblical wife? What are the responsibilities of a wife in the Bible? What the Bible says about wives’ duties?
Oh, my sweet reader, you are so special and so wise. Sadly many women, instead of asking themselves how they can be better for their husbands, sit around and expect to be treated like princesses. True, we are princesses, since our Father is the King of kings, but still 😉
We are not without responsibilities there. Of course, according to the Bible, our husbands should love us and be ready to die for us. This is indeed a hard job, to love that much… But it is not on us to judge them if they fail in this. They will need to solve it between them and God.
Our job is to focus on our duties. And even if it gets hard, and believe me, it does, we both will be accountable before the Lord for our roles. Not for each other’s roles!
So, I’m glad your heart is in the right place, my dear reader, and you want to be as good of a wife as you can be. And as much as it can be confusing how it looks like, the Bible gives us a lot of hints. So let’s go ahead and answer the question “How to be a biblical wife?”.
The Biblical Wife Vs Just-a-Wife
Marriage, even though created and blessed by God, is also functioning among unbelievers. So, is there any difference between such a marriage and a Biblical one? Of course.
First of all, Christian marriages have a more solid foundation – God. Worldy ones have a love for each other. But love is usually not enough. Since in the midst of problems and struggles it has a tendency to get cold.
The same with the biblical wife – a “casual” wife wants to be loved, cherished, and treated in a good way. You want these things too, of course, but your main motivation to keep your marriage as good as it can be is also to please God.
You want to obey your Lord and fulfill all the duties He trusted you with. It’s honorable and dear reader, if you keep this motivation growing in you, you will probably be one of the best Biblical wives on earth.
So let’s think about it together – how to be a biblical wife? How to perform in this role so that at the end of the journey, the King can nod with approval and say “You were a good servant, my love”.
How to be a Biblical Wife? The First Step
What the Bible says about wives’ duties? The most popular and probably the most important passage says “Wives, respect your husbands”. Ha. Respect. One word and it has such a wide meaning.
Dear reader, have you ever wondered why men are instructed to love while women are told to respect? Logically it is because love comes naturally to women. We are wired to be kind, loving, sacrificial. But to respect a man, especially in times when he does not deserve to be respected is a challenge. But, to be fair, there are moments (especially during the period) when we’re not too lovable as well 😉
The idea of respect is complex and it takes years to master it. Yet, I do recommend you keep on learning it because the fruit is amazing. Even though it is not the primary reason why we do it, let me tell you, that the more you respect your husband, the more he loves you.
It’s just a natural circle. The thing is, you are 50% of this marriage. If you work on it, already half of it is improved and this is a palpable difference.
So, respect. Before we start going into homemaking and being a helper, this is a base we need to cover. Because out of respect comes the submission which is another milestone in becoming a biblican wife. I wrote a separate article about submission itself, so before you continue reading this article, I suggest you get to know this one.
So, No Sourdough, Just Respect and Submission?
Well, I know that the trend of trad wives tells us that in order to be a biblical wife we need to master the art of creating a sourdough. As much as I admire everybody who can do it, I don’t think it is the foundation.
At the end of the day, it is way better to master the attitude of your heart than any cooking skill.
Because hey, what are the responsibilities of a wife in the Bible? To respect and submit. To make a home. But the way she does it is totally up to her. For example, I do not play around with sourdough, but I make sure I feed my husband with lots and lots of veggies 😉
So honey, do not worry too much if your cooking is not the best and you are not that organized in creating a home. It will come with time. What is way more important and is the beginning of biblical “wifeness” is how you treat your husband and what thoughts and values are leading your heart.
Work on it with perseverance, fight like a warrior princess, and build a strong foundation. And then, after that think how you can grow the right actions from this attitude. Feel how to be a biblical wife and become the helper your husband needs.
How to Be a Biblical Wife? Be the Helper.
It is sometimes hard to admit, but the Bible is clear about it. Women were created to be helpers for men. For me, that’s a good news. It means they need us. 🙂
But what does it mean in practice? Well, I’ll tell you from my four years of experience what it looks like. It will be a long list, but I’m sure at least some of these things resonate with you and will make you feel so important!
Because girl, just look how much you can do:
Provide emotional support, cheerleading, advice, delicious meals, cozy evenings, comfort, therapy, support, constant belief, home, friendship, passion, company, meaningful conversations, organizing a space, keeping things tidy, decorating, appreciation, deep bond, silly moments, thoughtful gifts, social life, tending to home, unforgettable romantic nights, desire, nourishment, inspiration, safe space to share struggles, understanding, creative ideas, push to improve, motivation, fun, beauty, charm, the representation of the church…
So please, honey, do not think less of yourself than you truly are. You are so needed and you bring so much to the table as a biblical wife. Being a helper is a huge responsibility. And I’m sure you’ll do just fine in that role.
What are the responsibilities of a wife in the Bible?
Everybody knows Proverbs 31. This challenging Bible fragment widely explains the role of a biblical wife.
Such a woman is hard-working and dedicated. But you know what’s the most important quality she represents? She is prioritizing her home and family. So yes, she works, but as a homemaker.
So instead of starting a lively discussion if a wife should also work outside of the home, let’s focus on something that is clear. How to be a biblical wife? Make home your priority.
And I don’t mean home as a house that serves food and clean space. I mean home as an idea of a state of mind, a cozy and loving space for your loved ones to rest in. Do not view it as only standard chores of cooking and cleaning. Oh, my sweet reader, you are so much more! Soooo MUCH MOOOOORE!
How to be a Biblical Wife – Summary
Remember that in older times women had servants to do the household work instead of them. So if you’re not managing it all just yet, it does not make you less, okay? If your heart is following the Lord, you respect and submit to your husband, and you prioritize a home, then – yes! – you are a biblical wife.
So head up, my dear, and become better at your role every single day. Building the Kingdom of God starts from building the kingdom of your Home.