Physical attraction is a factor that is crucial in dating. I mean, if you consider somebody ugly, you do not necessarily want to date them, do you? 🙂 Of course, there are situations when we first fall in love with somebody’s character and physical attraction comes afterward, but still, it is a stable element of every romantic relationship. Or at least, it should be.
What happens when we are no longer attracted to each other? Well, first of all, sex becomes difficult. We are starting to have a crush on other people. And that’s a dangerous territory to be in.
Now, I’m not saying that the attraction that burns out (which sometimes happens in every marriage, temporary or permanently) means the end of love. Love is a decision, and stepping into marriage means we will love each other the best we can even after we are fat and wrinkled.
But there are a few rules that keep this lovely factor of physical attraction going. The rules that make you have a crush on your spouse all the time, no matter how long you’ve been married.
So let me present to you the rules that will keep the attraction and desire alive in your marriage for many years.
Rule 1 – Go on Dates! (PS. Netflix and Chill Does Not Count!)
No, I do not mean movie nights at home. As cool as they are, they should be supplemented with outside dates once in a while.
Look, when you go out, you want to dress up nicely, put some makeup on, maybe even high heels. Isn’t that the type of attire you used to wear on a dating stage with your husband? Recreating it makes magic.
When you go out to have a nice time, drink a coffee, maybe eat a fancy meal facing each other, and you see each other in the best clothes, then you’re marriage is refreshed. It is easy to forget about spending time like this when a lot is going on in your daily life.
And that’s another reason why regular dates keep the attraction alive – you cut yourself out from daily problems (diapers, meal planning, messy kitchen…) and you can focus entirely on each other. Without thinking about food or cleaning because, in a cafe or a restaurant, somebody else does it for you! 🙂
So regular dates in cute clothes = keeping physical attraction.
Rule 2 – Work Out For Your Spouse (And Yourself)
I know, this one might be controversial. Especially if you are not into sports that much.
Yet, I think every Christian person should perform some kind of sports activity (does not need to be the gym or soccer, can be YouTube workouts at home! Or simple walks even). This keeps us healthy and shows care towards our bodies which are the temple of God.
Of course, if you are not able to work out, then that’s different. But if you are, doing it regularly has a positive impact on your marriage. Even if these things seem not connected, they truly are.
If you work out regularly, then your mood is better, even if your body does not change at all, you simply feel better in it. You’re more energized and hey, you are showing your spouse you’re putting some effort into your looks. Your body is a gift for your spouse just as it is for you and actively keeping it healthy and attractive is blessing your beloved one as well.
You do not need to be a model or a fitness freak (I’m certainly not!), but the effort itself makes your husband think “She tries hard to stay healthy and beautiful”. And it applies to men as well. The hard-working man who works out will stay attractive to his wife. Especially when his biceps prove he’s working out too 😉
And also, there is one more thing, come here, I’ll whisper it to you.
Regular workouts guarantee you better sex 🙂
3. Dress Up For Each Other
You know, I’ve never understood why people put some much effort into looking their best for randoms that they see on the way to the store, and when somebody says “Dress up for your husband” then they get offended.
What’s wrong with being willing to look your best for the most important person to you? I know, he should love you even in sweatpants and a dirty shirt and he certainly does, but… really, what’s wrong with putting the effort to look hot and pretty for your husband?
For me, it’s the rightest thing to do (is that a real word, even…?) – I put on pretty dresses and do my makeup even if I do not leave the house. Sure, not every day, but 87% of the days I’m trying to be super pretty when my husband comes home.
And that goes both ways! Guys, if you wear your manly button shirts at work and never wear equally great clothes for your wife… well, time to think about it!
Putting an effort to look our best for our spouse keeps the sparks alive for many years!
4. Do New Things Together
Starting a new exciting project together levels up the romance in every marriage. Fresh adventures and learning new things together bond you two and keep the physical attraction going.
Daily routine in married life is beautiful, but it is healthy to once in a while spice it up with something new. Take a weekend trip, paint the house together, start learning Spanish. Options are limitless.
Keeping life together exciting is crucial. And being intentional about it can change a lot, believe me.
If you do not have ideas for these “fresh adventures”, you can check out the article about it.
The truth is, if you put an effort into looking good for your spouse and spend time with them in an exciting way, you will not run out of physical attraction.
I know old couples that very much enjoy each other despite being in their 80s. Because things last if we take care of them!
You’ve Got This!
Sadly, many marriages fall apart because the sphere of romance gets neglected. But the good news is, it can be easily avoided. If you follow the rules presented above, you’re building your marriage up and strengthening the intimacy.
Because physical attraction and the intimate sphere of married life are super important. That’s why any minute spent on working out, planning a romantic dinner, or a weekend trip is never wasted.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it once more. If you take care of things, they last.
Want to take care of your marriage some more? Here are some resources for you. 🙂