God’s voice is crucial when it comes to getting engaged and marrying a person. Actually, we should pay attention and try to recognize God’s voice before we even enter a relationship. God is speaking to us all the time in various ways and in today’s article I will help you set your compass so that you hear Him more easily.
I’ve been in two (I’m not counting small kindergarten loves or one-week boyfriends in primary school haha) relationships, and the second one led to marriage. The first one was the essence of me NOT listening to God’s voice.
Some good in bad, today I am able to tell you how God says “No” about a person and how you can avoid much harm. In other words, I’ve learned the hard way so you don’t have to 🙂
Let’s dive in!
Does God Still Speak to Us?
Well, duh? I know that some people might be “jealous” of the Old Testament, dreams, visions, burning bushes, and direct spoken words of God that appeared regularly to the chosen people. Or, some others think that God speaks only to a small, very special group (for example, priests) and they are excluded from this group.
No, no, and no. There is one simple fact that proves that both of the opinions are wrong. Psst, you’re ready for the not-so-secret secret?
We have a Holy Spirit.
Each of us, no matter if a pastor or a newborn believer has equal access to God and His Helper. The Holy Spirit is IN us and he reminds us of all the truths.
Another secret, I feel like a Gossip Girl spilling all of these secrets so easily. 😉 The difference is, this is not gossip, it’s the truth.
We have the Bible.
The book with instructions and manuals written by the Designer of the World Himself. And despite the odds, it’s easier to follow than IKEA’s manuals 😉
And there is more! Here you might not agree with me, but I think there are many people who still, in these times, experience God’s voice in dreams, visions, and even simple words. Let’s look at all of them in the context of your love life, shall we?
God’s Voice in Dating – How He Says “No”
Yup, let’s start from God’s denial because it is harder to spot, especially when we’re deeply in love. God is telling us directly, showing red flags, in case the person we’re dating or are about to date, is not a devoted believer, or simply, not the one you’re going to marry.
We are stubborn, and we much rather dig ourselves deeper into this relationship and wake up a few months later in a tragic situation. I know this because that’s exactly what happened to me.
And I can’t say God did not warn me, because He did many times. But I trusted myself more.
But after it was all done, I was standing at the altar with my about-to-be husband and thinking “That’s way better, God. Thank you”.
I don’t mean to disrespect my ex-boyfriend (all is forgiven and I bless him), I just want to show you how God can warn you so that instead of going astray you’ll stick to Him.
1. Through Other People
I think it’s the most common way of God’s voice appearing when we have some doubts in our love lives, and it is also the most ignored.
People around you see your relationship from the outside. That’s why their opinion is crucial.
And okay, if they stay quiet and do not encourage your relationship to go further, that’s one thing.
But if they are sharing what they think without being asked, believe me, they care. If somebody tells you this person is not for you, and this opinion is shared by your mum, bestie, a random person in the grocery store, and even your pastor – they do not mean to take your happiness away, but rather help you out.
Five people wrote to me as soon as they found out I went out with X. All of them were one way or the other telling me to step back.
So, my sweet reader, if you are facing a similar situation, listen to your loved ones. And believe me when I tell you, even if it does not seem like that to you now, God has something way way better for you. He sometimes takes away, but if He does, He gives plenty more.
2. Via Red Flags
Somebody told me that during dating we should have our eyes wide open to spot any red flags. If some behaviors wake up your concern, they shall not be ignored.
Your life is in question. And you want to spend it with a person who is loving God with all their heart and is free from worldly thinking. Of course, we are all sinners, but sin that holds somebody for years and seems dangerous should not be taken lightly.
I wrote a whole article about potential red flags in men, so if you need some specific examples, this one might be helpful to you.
We often give second chances, and explain the concerning behaviors by circumstances (It was noisy, that’s why he got so irritated and aggressive), family (his father is like that, no wonder), or any other thing (The moon was in a perfect position for that to happen). Worse – sometimes we believe that the person will change because of us.
No offense sweetheart, but it’s not gonna happen. You can be the most amazing, fantastic, and influential person, yet it is not your job to change them. It’s honestly better to step aside and let them deal with their red flags before they hurt somebody.
So be cautious and pay attention to what God is showing you.
3. Through Dreams and Visions
Now, I don’t know much about visions – I’ve met people who had them, but since I never experienced one myself I do not feel qualified to talk much about the subject. I suspect it works similarly to the dreams about which I can say a lot more.
I know, some of you might think it’s an old-school way of God’s voice talking to us but I believe He still can do it that way. And why wouldn’t He? For some people that’s the only time they will listen not being blinded by emotions – when they sleep.
I had one dream that I dreamed twice – the first time was confusing and I took it for “just” a dream, crafted by my brain or whatever else. The dream presented me getting married to a man. Did not see his face, but his posture was different than my boyfriend’s back there.
Could be simply my desire to get out of this relationship or a sign from God that He has something different for me, but I’m not sure. But when I dreamed the very same dream the night before I saw a man that with his back turned to me had the very same posture as the man in my dream, then it clicked.
I have many more stories with dreams, yet this one is the most relevant to the topic. So, I truly believe God’s voice can be spoken in dreams. Especially when you have some doubts about the relationship and the very same doubts are being displayed in your dream.
I’m not claiming it is always like that, I simply want to encourage you to pay attention to the dreams that seem significantly different than other, casual ones.
4. Speaking Directly to You
Learning to hear God’s voice like that takes a while. You need to stay open-minded, ready to hear Him, and what’s most important, recognize His voice.
Because yeah, there will be other voices – your ego, emotions, etc., – that will also speak to you.
For a big part of my Christian life, I thought God only speaks to pastors, and people who deeply study theology. That was the leftover of catholic beliefs in me. Till one day I started praying for God to speak to me as well. Since Jesus is available for all of us, why would I not receive His voice if I only ask?
So today I want to encourage you – ask Him to speak to you. And be ready to listen, no matter what the answer is. Because the answer can be scary sometimes. But it’s always leading in the right direction.
If you are still not able to distinguish God’s voice from the others, you can do one simple thing every day to make it possible. Get to know Him through the Bible. Then, and only then, knowing His values and rules, you’ll be able to know if He is the one speaking to you.
What If God Says… Yes?
Above I’ve presented you the most common ways of God warning you that the person you’re dating or are about to date will not be your spouse. I’ve given it so much attention because I care about you, and don’t want you to get trapped into something less than God can give you later.
And also, because it is way harder to hear a denial when we really want something. But God’s approval is so easy to spot. He can also use all the other ways above, and also, additionally, you’ll have a sense of peace.
For many couples, I know it was the most important indicator of God’s approval. Peace. They not only felt they should get married, but they somehow knew.
There is this saying, when you know then you know.
And that’s the essence of it all. The truth is, through the Holy Spirit we already know the answer.
But let it be found in you. Let it be known to you.
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