Welcome to Pigmenttarium, where we believe in transforming the palette of your marriage from dull and grey to vibrant and colorful. Today, let’s dive into a topic that has been painted with awful misconceptions sex. When I became a wife, I discovered the lies about sex and also, found out the truth. Ready to get rid of the lies?
1.Gray is the Only Shade
Even when we were way too small to understand this, we were being bombarded with jokes and fake info that once you get married, exciting part of life and potential of having mind-blowing sex ends. It’s time to conquer the myth that sex in marriage is as dull as a grayscale photo. Your marriage is a canvas, and just like an artist adds layers and colors, so should you. YOU are the painter! Do not agree for grey only, girl, take your crayons and paint your bedroom! Metaphorically of course. Or literally if that might help.
2. Perfect Scenes and (always white!) Perfect Sheets – the lies about sex that we thank Hollywood for
Hollywood has a way of portraying sex like it’s always perfect – flawless sheets, orchestrated moves, and zero awkward moments. Hahaha, good joke, La La Land. We are not stupid – we know better that ou can have the sheets in color you want, and it can be as far from white as it can be!
Your bedroom is not a movie set and good for you! Otherwise you would need to spend two hours getting your make up and hair ready. And a couple of people adjusting the sheets every three minutes. No, thank you! It’s better to embrace the authenticity of your unique masterpiece of your intimacy in marriage.
3. Sex is Always Explosive – the lies about sex told by the movies
Romantic comedies may lead us to believe that every intimate encounter should be explosive, filled with fireworks. But in reality, intimacy is like a watercolor painting – subtle, layered, and beautifully nuanced. Okay sex is okay too! Of course, once in a while it is fun to explore, do something different or simply change the location (do not try the wobbly heater though. Trust me. Just don’t). But yet, everyday intimacy is needed too. Just like with dinner – you like to go out and eat seafood, but daily homemade spaghettis is a nice meal too! Gosh, I did this again. Why am I such a dull writer and literally every metaphor that I make needs to have something to do with food? Maybe I should start a culinary blog…
4. Instant Gratification
Do you know this passage of the Bible that recommends a man to take one year off just to learn how to please his wife? Yup, that says a lot. This is a whole philosophy – your husband will need time to figure out how your body works and understand the magical words “clitoris”. In the age of instant gratification, some believe that great sex should happen effortlessly – more, you might believe the highest form of intimacy is reaching the pleasure together. Ha, what a lie! For him it might take one minute… for you one year 😂 Remember, creating a masterpiece takes time. Like an artist who patiently layers colors to achieve perfection, invest time and effort into your intimate connection. Oh my, it sounded so cringe! See, eventually it turns out better when I stick to food metaphors.
5. The better body, the better sex – lol, really?
Thank you, photoshoped magasines and way too big and way too bald billboards. You portrayed for us a fake vision of sex and many of us believed you. Why are you taking away the right for a great intimacy from guys that do not lift, women that do not have pumped booty and even people that wear glasses. And then poor girl thinks that she does not have a chance in a good sex because she does not have big enough booty. Or she does not have booty at all because she jumped to the water and saved a child from shark attack but lost the bootcheeks in a deadly fight. Hey, that might happen too!
These are just lies and your bodies, just like colors, are unique and beautiful in their own way. Celebrate the diversity and find pleasure in the authenticity of your connection. Taking care of your appearance is good but it is not an obligation in order to have a fulfilling intimacy with your husband.
6. Happily Ever After in Bed
Yes, that’s what every Harlequin book will tell you – first time hurts (well, does it really?) and the rest is just fantastic and effortless. It’s a hard work! It’s communicating, failing, improving and communicating once more. Fairy tales may promise happily ever after, but in reality, relationships require effort and communication. Like blending colors to create a harmonious palette, work together to ensure your intimate life evolves and adapts over time.
7. One Size Fits All – the lies about sex created by fake billboards
Well, that one can be understood metaphorically and literally too. Just like billboards that showcase one-size-fits-all beauty, the idea that there’s a universal standard for great sex is just a lie. Your desires and preferences are as diverse as a color palette. Explore what works for you and your partner, creating your own masterpiece. And stop worrying about your breast size! A, B, C or even F – A stands for Awesome sex, B for Bold, C for… hm, calming? considerate? or creative? And F is of course Fantastic. To each their own, even having -A breast you are the gift for your husband!
See in how many lies we believe? I bet there are many more, but as long as we stick to the Truth, we’re fine. Break free from the lies about sex, embrace the authenticity of your unique connection, and paint your love life with the colors that resonate with both of you. Remember, the masterpiece is yours to create.
Which of the lies about sex you used to believe?
You go girl! 😀