Service is such a humbling word. It is not easy to serve people. But if among love languages acts of service are cherished the most by your spouse, it is worth investing some time into this topic.
So today I will help you with ideas and practical examples of showing love through serving your spouse.
Because, yes, there is more to this than taking the trash out once a week. Although that’s good too!
But with this article, you can widen your repertoire and show your spouse love like never before.
Ready to dive in?
What Is An Act of Service?
This is not an official definition but for me, the difference between help and service is not so small. You help when you are asked to. You serve because you simply want to.
Of course, if your wife asks you to take out the trash and you say yes and do this, it is a help and an act of service at the same time.
But, if after she asks you roll your eyes and rumble “Yeah, fine” and take the trash out, sure, you helped, but your attitude sabotages the potential to achieve an act of service.
The truth is, you do not need big gestures to please your loved ones for whom among love languages acts of service are the most important.
The attitude of the heart is the key.
Love Languages Acts of Service – The Essence
Your willingness to serve, your urge to help with the chores, and the desire to make your spouse’s day lighter are the signs of love.
You don’t need to clean the whole house. Taking out the trash joyfully will do. (Oh my, you must think I’m such a boring writer, I keep on using the same example 🙂 But you get the idea, don’t you?).
So if acts of service are a new concept to you, start with your attitude. Rolling your eyes, sighing, and showing contempt should NOT be there when serving the other person.
So, common, let’s practice magical spells together. Repeat after me:
Of course honey!
I’ll do it right now, baby!
It will be my pleasure darling!
Yes, queen/king, I’m on it!
Ok, the last one is a little bit extreme, but hey, I’m not limiting you. 🙂
Examples of Acts of Service
The opportunities to serve your spouse appear at every step. They start at home when you can help out with the chores.
There is a little trick here. Surprise factor!
If you never wash the dishes (see, finally not the trash anymore :)), one day just do it. And then again, and again. Go out of your comfort zone and touch the chores that used to scare you.
Your spouse will appreciate it and will think highly of you, I can promise you that!
Also, this one is rather for men, but sadly I see less and less of it. And maybe you do not want to hear it if you’re a man, but hey, this can improve your marriage so much.
Be a gentleman. Take the heavy things from your wife when you’re in the shop, airport, or even a house. The only exception is the gym.
Pick her up with a car from her meeting. Buy the groceries once in a while. Make her breakfast to bed.
Whatever romantic you see in the movies that she cries over, do it. Give her these small gestures. Because if she among love languages acts of service cherishes the most… she will fall in love with you all over again.
Controversial Part…
As long as helping your spouse with daily house chores is not surprising in the area of acts of service, I have something that might.
Not many people think about this sphere of life that way. But actually…
Have you ever thought about sex in the context of serving? No? Well, you should.
If you are willingly pleasing your spouse without expecting anything back, you are serving them. If you are agreeing to make love the way they want to even if this is not really your thing, you are serving them.
Making love can be an act of service if only done right and purposefully.
If you are not experiencing it that way, check my posts devoted to intimacy in marriage. I’m sure you’ll find something for yourself!
Acts of Service – Practical Examples
If you want to cherish your spouse through love languages acts of service, you can try these:
- Prepare your spouse’s favorite meal – it does not matter if you can cook or not, the fact of you trying your best in the kitchen for them means a lot.
- Switch Chores Day – switch roles for one day and take care of all the chores your spouse would normally do. Sounds challenging, but the smile on your spouse’s face is worth it!
- Create a Realax Space – clean your spouse’s desk or prepare a hot bath – you know them best! Give them time and organized space to rest, they will for sure appreciate that.
- Secretary Day – take care of overwhelming tasks on your spouse’s to-do list. Make phone calls, schedule appointments… Just make their day lighter.
- Hobby Help – offer your spouse to assist them with their hobbies, whether they need you to organize the paints by colors or hold a lighter for them. Offer to serve in what they love a lot!
- Together Project – if you both like improving the house, engage in a project together and help each other out. Not only love languages acts of service are in action, but also quality time.
- Simple Help – you can fold your spouse’s laundry or pack them lunch to work. Do something small, but meaningful for them.
- Free Day – let your spouse be alone or let them go out while you take care of the house, kids, and your little piggy if you have one. You will fill their love tank for many days!
- Question – sometimes the best way to show love to your spouse, is to ask them what they need. And then of course offering them what they’ve asked for.
- Public Serving – you can show your spouse affection in public for example bringing them a chair when they need one, bringing them a piece of cake along with yours, or just considering them whatever you do. It does work magic.
Love Languages Acts of Service – Practise, Practise, Practise
Learning a servant’s heart takes time, but hey, it not only makes you a better person but lets your spouse feel loved. And your marriage simply grows that way.
It requires some effort, but I do believe that practicing based on examples from this article can pay off after a while.
Be persistent and strong and one day serving will come naturally. I’m sure of that.
Interested in other love languages? Check the quality time, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation.