Among love languages gift giving is the most often misunderstood one. Because giving gifts requires spending money, so do people needing that kind of love expression really need love…?
Probably when you’ve found out that your spouse’s primary love language is gift giving, you thought that they are materialistic. And that’s the first sad misconception!
Because what a person who among love languages gift giving cherishes the most does not care about the gift itself just as much as about the thought behind the gift.
Why Gifts Are So Important?
Giving gifts became a tradition years ago – Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, random occasions. You give whenever and (almost) whatever.
But of course, there are bad gifts and good gifts. And the good gifts are the ones your spouse will feel love through. So it is worth examining the subject deeper. And spending a penny or two. 😉
You know, I’ll be frank with you. My second love language is giving and receiving gifts. And it is so important because a whole process needs to happen when buying a gift.
First, you need to listen to the person to figure out what they’re dreaming about. Then plan a gift. Save up if it is required. Purchase. Pack. Give. Watch the big smile.
There is a whole ceremony that goes into that and it requires a giver to THINK about the person they’re giving a gift to. Cherish them in their mind and pick the best option.
Love Languages Gift Giving – What It Is NOT
Let’s say it once and for all – if somebody’s first love language is receiving gifts, it does not mean that person is a materialist or aspiring to be a gold digger.
It is quite the opposite – such people are rather “heart diggers”.
And hey, it is not a mystery that one of the best gifts one can hand is DIY. Special, unique, and handmade. Do these cost a lot of money? Usually not. But they cost time and heart. See, that is the currency here.
So before you accuse your spouse of being selfish, remember that they just want to be listened to and appreciated. We all need that and it is okay to receive love in many different ways. To each their own as they say.
Love Languages Gift Giving – The Essence
As I’ve written above – listening to the other person and REMEMBERING what they are saying is crucial. This way you will catch whenever your spouse mentions their favorite chips flavor, flowers that they love, or a secret dream that they’ve never shared before.
Sounds like a hard task? Not anymore! I’ll share with you some secret methods for expressing love via gift-giving.
Tips:
- Write it down! Whenever they are saying something like “Oh my, I love dark chocolate”… wait, no, that’s too crazy. Let’s change it into: “Oh my, I love milk chocolate just like any other normal person”, “I wish we could see movie X in the cinemas…” or “I always wanted a red dress” sneaky write it down. You will thank yourself later!
- Ask them – and no, I don’t mean cowardly asking them what they want for their birthday, but rather using creative questions that can make them open up about the items they are dreaming about. “What is your favorite brand?”, “What places would you like to visit?” and so on and so on.
- Experiment – try bringing home flowers and observe their reaction. Turned out they’re allergic? No worries, bring chocolate next time. The effort that you put into these searches can show your spouse how much you love them!
- Put every important date in the calendar – Do it now. I’m serious. You do not want to forget any birthday, celebration or anniversary. Forgetting about important dates hurts everybody, but gifts lovers especially.
Small Gifts on a Budget Ideas
Sometimes you do not need to find fancy things – the smallest gestures of love can already mean the world! For example:
- get them their favorite snack – chocolate, a pastry, or a pickle (if your spouse is Polish). You won’t spend more than a few dollars, and you will fill your spouse’s love tank.
- small thoughtful things – you know your spouse best and you know little things they would want to get. Do they love coffee? Look what I’ve found for cheap for a coffee lover!
- vouchers – you can prepare them on your own and then spend a tiny amount of money on printing or you can use ready ones. Cute and original gift guaranteed!
- flowers – they are always a good idea if your spouse likes them. Make sure to buy the ones they love – check your notes if you are not sure if you remember 😉
- addition to shopping – whenever you go shopping, make sure to bring them something small with you. A snack, a small thing, a cosmetic. They will be thrilled you remembered about them!
- coffee/tea – get them coffee in the morning (or tea, if your spouse is British) – you can buy it or make it to bed for them. Such a small gift but for them, it will mean the world!
- card – it’s a cheap thoughtful gift, and again, you can play DIY or go with the pre-made option.
Remember Important Days
Gift lovers also love celebrations. It does not mean all of them love parties, but they like the idea of a special day just for them or your relationship.
So celebrating birthdays and anniversaries in memorable ways is a gift in itself. If you want some ideas about it, here are 10 ways to spend an anniversary unforgettable way.
Also, dates are crucial. Take your spouse on dates often and remember to pay for their food as a gift! 😉
Spending time purposefully is also a form of a gift.
If you want to be proactive, create small celebrations for your spouse who among love languages gift giving is the most important one. The day of kisses, the “yes” day, you pick the food day, and so on and so on. You will not only give them something to look forward to but also fill their love tank with yet another gift.
Love Languages Gift Giving – Bigger Presents
Once in a while, it is great to surprise your spouse with a bigger gift than the daily ones. So for example organize a trip, buy them this expensive bag they always wanted, or serve them a 3 Michelin star steak.
It does not need to happen often but if let’s say once in a few months you’ll do that, it will make magic. Because then your spouse will feel like they are priceless to you and instead of holding on to money, you want to hold on to them. 🙂
If you need some ideas on fancier gifts, I have 101 inspirations for you.
Anyway, I think it is so worth it to be generous and shower our loved ones with gifts. It can be something as simple as a letter or a potato from a local shop (I mean, which person does not like potatoes in any form? No? Is it only Polish people?). The thought behind the gift matters the most.
I hope it was helpful and that you understand the concept of love languages gift giving a little bit more. And hey, if you want to learn more about other love languages – head on to the article on physical touch or quality time. I’ll see you there!