Making a budget for two people or an even bigger family is a challenge. Especially when one spouse is a saver and the other rather a spender… Yet, there is one way to handle money as a married couple that we have used for years and it works perfectly.
From the experience, we know that couples who use this way are the happiest with their finances. Along the way we’ve tried to change a thing or two, but always came back to the original manner. If you are a Christian and are not sure what’s the best way to deal with the finances, let us present the most successful way.
It can save you a lot of trouble and make a proper order in your home. For sure, implementing it won’t be easy, but we promise it will be worth it.
Shall we start? 🙂
Money, Sex, and In-Laws – The Most Common Argument’s Starters
If you’re married, you know what I mean. It’s so easy to get into an argument about money. It’s normal – two people from two different families start making a life together, of course, it’s going to be challenging. So don’t worry if it’s a struggle for now. It takes time, and just because it does not align perfectly at first with you two, doesn’t mean it won’t click.
Seriously. You’ll get there. With our ultimate way to handle money as a married couple in no time.
You might disagree with us. Claim that it is better to have “independent” money in marriage. Well, for sure it is healthy to have some budget for your own expenses, we, women, especially need small pleasures like nails, hair, new dress once in a while.
But at the same time if you separate the money into “yours” and “mine” the teamwork breaks. Sadly, my mum and stepfather used to do that. He kept a lot of “his” money on who knows what when his wife and children were struggling. Did not end up well after all. Yes, they are divorced.
Maybe there are some cases where it works out. But to be honest, I don’t know a single married couple that manages finances like this and is doing good.
Anyway, let us present to you the way to handle money as a married couple we have been using it for about four years and it worked amazingly.
WE Have an Income
There will be times in your marriage when one (or even two) of you are jobless. Either by choice or circumstances. But we believe, that since you are one body, all that you have is shared.
I’ve decided to quit my corporate job and focus on writing and being a housewife. I make way less than I used to during my toxic job, but it does not mean “the true income is my husband’s”. Nah. We are one so we have an income. His paycheck plus my small addition equals OUR budget.
There are more paid jobs and less paid ones but no matter how much you two make, we would suggest it to combine in one budget for your family. Separating it can only cause issues, jealousy, and suspicions.
Sure, if one of you needs a budget for a hobby or small pleasures, you should set such, but together, agreeing on a specific amount.
What worked well for us was first adding all incomes into one and then spreading it into pockets – rent, food, travel, dog, etc. That makes everything transparent and healthy. You see everything clearly and you have a chance to discuss how much goes on what together, as a team.
Accountability
Another rule we set might seem controversial for some, yet it works well for us. Whenever one of us wants to buy something that costs more than X, and it was not discussed before, then we need to ask each other. Of course, we’re not talking about secret gifts 😉
But if Alex liked a toy car that costs ay more than X, he would still consider my opinion. I would do the same when it comes to buying a new dress. It shows we respect each other and control the budget as a team. It works well in a dynamic where one spouse is rather a spender when the other much rather save money. Then one is not secretly sabotaging the other, but everything is transparent.
This way you can learn your ways of spending money in peace and feel like you have something to say about every major purchase. Of course, you can set your “amount line” lower or higher depending on your financial situation, but you get the idea.
And do not view this in the category of needing to ask for permission. It is rather to be open about money, not keep it taboo or dream to buy things that you never bring to the light. It’s about honesty and respecting your marriage, and your budget.
Husband in Charge
Oh, this one will really make feminists angry. Who cares, I’ll say it. I think the majority of men are better with money than women. I’m not claiming it’s always the case but I’ve just seen too many women poorly managing their finances to think otherwise.
Men have this urge to provide and let’s be honest, a lot of them are good at counting! Sure, it’s not always so black and white… But in our family we’ve decided Alex will be responsible for our budget – of course, consulting it with me so that whenever I want to look deeper into that, it is available to me.
We’ve tried switching once. And yes, we’ve saved some money, but it just did not feel right to me. I was counting every penny, limiting every single spend and just carrying an invisible burden (why did autocorrect changed it into a “burger” a minute ago?) that somehow seemed not mine to carry.
I am not saying there aren’t women who can do finances well – if there are, and their husbands are okay with it, they can manage the budget. Or you can switch every month if you wish, but in my opinion, it might bring some chaos.
If you ask me about the best way to handle money as a married couple, I would say – give it to the man of the house.
If a man follows Christ, he will learn eventually to do the budget right, even if it does not seem so right now. BUT. There is one “but”. If a man is selfish, following the world, and does not care about his family, handling him the budget might end up in a tragedy.
That’s why one should always marry well 😉
Be Generous
This is something we have learned recently, but it adds so much into the way to handle money as a married couple. No matter how much you have – give a lot.
10% for the church is a bare minimum. Share what you have and do not get glued to money. It comes and goes.
Sure, it is good to save up, but giving to the ones in need is even better. Even if it sometimes seems scary, God calls us to be generous. So together figure out the ways that you can support others financially. Because the more you give, the more you receive.
How to Handle Money As a Married Couple? Do Not Worry About It.
The last but not least – attitude of your heart. Constant fear about money is overwhelming and does not bring any good. It’s way better to give the burden to God and do your best if you truly need more resources. That’s the best advice I can give you on how to handle money as a married couple.
When God called me to quit my corporate job and focus on homemaking and writing, I first got scared, but then… excited. I knew we would lose a lot financially. Regular cash flow. Security. Savings. But I knew He was going to catch us jumping from this cliff.
And here we are, having way less money, but way more joy and peace.
And this is the thought I’m leaving you with – if you’re being blessed with a lot, share this joy. If you’re thinking you’re gonna lack – have peace about it.
Let God take care of it.
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