Yay, you did it! Welcome to the rollercoaster of love, the thrilling adventure called Marriage Land! If you’re in the first week of marital bliss, congratulations! This is a special time, a blend of excitement, adjustment, and, let’s be honest, a bit of chaos. The last one should not scare you because with my guide you will know exactly what to expect.
Common problematic questions in the first week of marriage:
Picture this: you’re back from the honeymoon, the wedding euphoria still lingering, and suddenly you find yourself face-to-face with the day-to-day reality of married life. The first week is like a crash course in living together, learning and finding your rhythm as a couple.
1. Who gets the last slice of pizza?
The wife. Period.
Okay, just kidding. But you should both discuss it for the future, right? Not only the pizza dilemma, but also who cooks which meal or who orders it, how will your nutrition look like etc. Prepare for a lot of surprises! I was completely shocked, trying my best to prepare a healthy dinner for us and finding out that my husband will not be super happy eating it as long as it’s vegetarian. From the other hand, he was dreaming of us cooking together, but it turned out I prepare meals best solo.
In the grand feast of marriage, the menu is a symphony of flavors, reflecting the diverse palates of two individuals. So by creating a culinary compromise that embraces variety, respects preferences, and fosters a spirit of adventure, you’ll turn your shared meals into a celebration of love, unity, and deliciousness. But hey, not in the first week! Give it time and expect unexpected.
2. How much “We” time vs “me” time is needed?
While togetherness is essential, so is maintaining a sense of self. You might be tempted to spend every single minute of the magical first week together, but try to make time for individual pursuits to keep the relationship vibrant and balanced. A healthy “we” and “me” time ratio is the secret to a happy marriage. The sooner you start, the better. I’ve been there, sister! I have given everything to my marriage and was not writing or pursuing any other hobby (and I have at least 14 of them) for at least 4 months of marriage. Wrong! I forgot that I am not only Marysia the wife, I am still Marysia the… simply, Marysia.
The battle for control over the remote can be fierce too. Fear not, dear reader, for compromise is the key. Pick specific nights for each person to choose the entertainment, and explore new shows together (ours is Masterchef). Remember, the key to a happy marriage might just be a harmonious TV schedule.
3. Why he doesn’t put the freaking toilet seat down?!
One classic first-week-of-marriage battle revolves around toilet seats. Leave it up or put it down? One of you will say up, the other down, am I right? The key is to sense the difference between hurt and annoyance. Does it really hurt you? No judgement, it can! Then approach it. Does it simply annoy you? Compromise or well, stop caring. I really do nor mind putting it down after my husband. This small tiny thing should not affect our marriage anyhow – and it shouldn’t affect yours. Unless your occupation is “toilet seat specialist” and it deeply hurts you, then discuss it. Otherwise it is not worth it.
4. Why is intimacy so hard?
The newness of the marital relationship and the nervousness that often accompanies it can be a barrier to sexual intimacy. You may need time to become comfortable with each other in this new context. It is completely normal! This sphere of your marriage, just like any other sphere, needs time. You might experience issues presented below and it is normal:
- pain during intimacy
- fear of physical closeness
- not knowing how to initiate intimacy
- being ashamed that the first night did not go as planned
- believing in lies about sex
And so on and so on. Intimacy issues are normal and they can unexpectantly come up at the beginning of the marriage, especially first week. You will solve them with patience and love, my beautiful reader. I know you will.
5. Why are we so emotionally distant?
The first week of marriage often involves a significant adjustment period as partners transition from their individual lives to a shared existence. This adjustment can create emotional and physical distance as both individuals navigate the new dynamics. This is normal! I was never further emotionally from my husband than during the first week of marriage. You left your family, home, life to start a new one. It’s scary and so tough! Give yourself time and be sure that in some days you will be already in your element.
6. How dare he take naps?
Yeah, exactly, why are you tired? You just got married, no big deal 😉 The whirlwind of wedding preparations, the ceremony itself, and the honeymoon can leave the most energized person physically exhausted. Fatigue can be a major hurdle to intimacy as you may prioritize rest over romantic engagements during the first week. My husband was taking a nap every day in the first week of marriage and I was mad – hey, be romantic, take me on walks! Now I understand he was just overwhelmed. It is okay and normal to rest. You will have a lifetime for romantic gestures.
7. Why do I feel so sad?
The emotional intensity of the wedding experience can be overwhelming. We went small and had only a private picnic and we were drained out! From the euphoria of the ceremony to the realization of the lifelong commitment, you may need time to process these emotions before fully embracing intimacy, making the first week a period of emotional recalibration. So you are not sad that you married this fantastic man, you are probably emotionally dead. Okay, this did not sound too well! What I meant is… ah, why do I bother, you know exactly what I meant, you are a sharply smart reader.
8. Why on earth did his mother-in-law come and cook for him? Common, it’s the first week of marriage!
This did not happen to us, but man, I wouldn’t mind being fed by my Serbian mother-in-laws in the first week of marriage when I was still figuring out foreign products. But yet, I understand you might be surprised by the level your new family wants to be involved in your marriage. In-laws can be heroes or villains in a marriage. So establish clear boundaries early on, communicate openly about expectations, and remember, you’re building a new family unit. Patience, empathy, and humor are your best allies.
The first week can be over, but the the ride just begins
As you navigate the first week of marriage, remember that every couple’s journey is unique. Embrace the quirks, cherish the love, and don’t forget to laugh along the way. The first week is just the beginning of a beautiful adventure, so order some pizza, hold hands, and enjoy the ride.
Which of the issues you faced in the first week of marriage?