The dating phase is complicated and things get even harder if you are a Christian. Simply because you not only want to make things the right way but also remain pure and please God. Do not worry, I’ve got you. The list of 5 dating mistakes you should avoid as a Christian.
I’ve seen people hurt and traumatized by dating like the world does, but imagine that it can be avoided. Less pain, less confusion, and more Godliness.
I’ve also written an article about the 6 ultimate rules to date Jesus’s style so I suggest you start with that one.
And now let’s get to the topic – dating mistakes you should avoid at all costs.
God Wired Us Romantically
If you desire to find a spouse and get married, it’s a good desire. Wanting to unwrap the wonderful gift of marriage God has left us is normal. Christians are also human beings who have romantic feelings.
Do not feel bad that you want to date. I meet too many Christians who put on a fake mask “I don’t want anybody” because they do not see much hope in this world.
True, modern relationships are cheap and quick. But it does not mean God cannot give you something life-lasting and deep if He wants to.
So please, do not get discouraged or worse, agree for less than you can have. To ensure you’re on the right path in the dating sphere, avoid making these dating mistakes:
Dating Mistakes #1 – NOT Dating To Marry
Oh, I hate that one. Playing around, not being serious, and sometimes even starting things with multiple people at once.
I get it, dating is not marriage yet, but if you do not treat it seriously enough, it will not bring any good.
There are many spiritual dangers in dating not to marry, sexual sin is around the corner, and pride and arrogance are sneaking around.
Do not be fooled, my dear friend. You should only enter a relationship if you think it could potentially lead to marriage.
Of course, sometimes things do not work out for various reasons, and that’s normal. But if they do not work out because you are not serious enough, then do not be surprised.
Treating dating too lightly will not attract mature Christ’s followers ready for marriage. It will rather attract people who do not want to commit.
Dating Is Just a Preparation
Agreeing somebody to date you is not a win yet. You need to get them to agree to marry you, still 😉
A popular dating mistake is to treat the courting stage as figuring out if they will make a good boyfriend/girlfriend. No! You’re supposed to use that time to figure out if they will make a good husband/wife.
Quick and shallow relationships are what the world often offers. But you, my dear reader, are the child of God who offers way more.
Dating can be beautiful, playful, and romantic if, in the back of your head, you have the thought that it’s just the beginning of something even greater.
#2 Looking For Attraction, Not Love
It’s hard not to fall for beautiful people. I get that, in high school I had a crush after a crush myself. 😉 And an invisible boyfriend, too, to be fully honest.
And yes, you should be physically attracted to the person you want to date. If you’re not, then it might cause some issues later on.
But you should be cautious not to fall for shiny eyes and lean figures only. If a person does not offer a mature and kind spirit and does not represent higher values, they are not a spouse material.
So looking out only for a beauty, not a character is a mistake.
It might sound obvious but in reality, many Christians fall for fake churchgoers on Sundays that go to the party on Saturdays.
Consider dating people who not only look good but have something more in themselves.
The Culture of Bodies
That makes me sick, doesn’t it make you? All these half-naked muscular bodies, and reminders to put on sunscreen like wrinkled were worse than going to hell.
Sure, it’s nice to be pretty, and it’s only proper to take care of a gift God has given each of us – the body. But to this extent…?
So, dear reader, if you see somebody putting an effort into looking good only, without taking care of their mentality and spirituality, then better stay away.
I believe every Christian should work out, somehow, to keep themselves healthy, but the best training of muscles won’t replace a deep, taken-care-of, relationship with God.
When it comes to crisis, muscles and a pretty face won’t do much, unless they go together with a rich spirit and a strong mind.
#3 Not Being Careful With Physical Affection
Obviously, you do not want to cross the line. But WHERE is the line?
Each couple needs to set it for themselves – exactly, that’s why you need to have a clear idea in your head of what’s ok and what isn’t even before you step into a relationship.
I’ll go further, I also consider a dating mistake kissing before marriage. It might sound strict, but believe me, almost all of the couples that kiss before marriage fall into sexual sin. Or, at least into huge temptation.
It is much safer to leave this gift for after marriage. A kiss on the lips, especially a longer one, is a gate to intimacy. If not careful, you can open the gate too soon.
And the essence of Christian dating is to be mindful of God’s standards and other people. You do not want to take something that’s not yours. That’s why it is a huge mistake to treat physical affection lightly.
Dating Mistakes Called “It’s Just a Hook Up”…?
The modern world is trying to convince us sex is just sex, you can do it with whomever you want and however you want.
Really? Who would want to get vulnerable and intimate with a bunch of people? When there is God who offers exclusivity and exploring this sphere with one special person.
I do not have a comparison (so glad I don’t!) but I think it’s way easier to learn to please each other by having one sexual partner than a bunch.
Save your body as a gift. It will be worth it, I promise.
Have issues with securing intimacy for later? I have just the right tips for you.
#4 Considering Many Options At Once
It always got on my nerves when guys from the church were flirting with every single girl. This kind of behavior shows a lack of maturity – one wants to have many gates open, just in case…
When truly, you should entirely focus on one person.
Chatting or texting can be innocent, but hitting to many people at once – definitely one of the dating mistakes.
You’re not checking the IKEA catalog, we’re talking about choosing a future spouse.
Being kind to everyone is one thing. But being flirty to everyone… please.
If one person is not enough for you when it comes to dating, how do you expect yourself to be fully focused on your spouse once married?
Exclusivity should be displayed from the very beginning, even if you are not officially dating a person you want to yet.
Do you think I would agree to date Alex (now my husband) if he was texting other girls too, not being decided on me? Such behavior can cause you, too, to lose a valuable’s person interest.
Dating Mistakes in Exclusivity
In older times you could see a guy taking a girl to the cinema, picking her up, giving her roses, asking her parents to marry her…
Call me old style, but for me, it should still look like that. Every woman wants to be pursued, every man wants to pursue.
Asking to date somebody via text, no affirming words, doing Netflix at home instead of going out on a real date… Nah, we, Christians, should do better.
So girls, let’s switch seducing into modesty, and boys, change laziness into active pursuing.
If we can learn anything from our parents and grandparents is to focus on one person and pour our heart for them. That’s the most fulfilling kind of dating there is. And you should not agree to less.
Just Stick to God and Everything Is Going to Be Okay
Avoiding these dating mistakes can be a challenge. As long as you obey God, even when it gets hard, you are sure you’re going the right path.
Even through breakups, broken hearts, or tears, you are moving toward a great marriage that God has prepared for you.
And even if He did not predestine you to get married… You’re still going to live forever, with Him. Even marriage cannot compare with this relationship.
Want More? I Have an Ebook That Will Guide You!
