Can Christians kiss before marriage?

Kissing is probably the most romantic thing on earth. It bonds, shows affection, builds up passion… yes, exactly. The last one might be concerning when it comes to Christian relationships before marriage, so let’s talk about kisses and answer the question: “Can Christian kiss before marriage?”.

Okay, so grab some tea (I already have mine) and sit down comfortably. We are friends and we are having afternoon tea and some pretty important discussion. Here, take some virtual biscuits.

Let’s talk about the past

Can Christian kiss before marriage? They can, Bible does not forbid it directly, but if you want to stay pure before marriage, it is recommended not to kiss. Let me tell you why.

I hope the relationship you are in is your first one, honestly. But if it’s not for various reasons, it is totally okay. Really. *sipping a tea with a comforting look*.

I also have a past I’m not too proud of. You see, I was dating a guy that claimed to be a Christian. Was he? I don’t know. But for sure he crossed some boundaries. I do not want to go into details, but I’ve begged him to take the line back. His response was a laugh. At this very moment, I knew I should run.

Yup, that’s the long story short. Now, I am curious, what would be your response to “Can Christian kiss before marriage?”. Oh, you are not sure, that’s why you’re here *nodding politely and sipping the tea*. So let me help you find the answer.

The reason why I’ve mentioned my ex is that I wanted you to see that not pure lines can devastate somebody. Whether it is your boyfriend/girlfriend, yourself, or even – yes! – your future spouse. That’s why this topic should not be taken lightly.

Let’s talk about the Bible

Does the Scripture answer “Can Christian kiss before marriage?” Does the Bible ever mention kissing in other contexts than a holy kiss? Oh yeah! The Song of Solomon is full of kisses. What is this book about? Yup, exactly, the married couple enjoying intimacy. See that? MARRIED.

Also, Genesis 2:24 says “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Becoming one flesh… isn’t that the most beautiful, the most exciting, and the most bonding thing ever?

When you think of becoming one flesh, you probably think of… well, the act itself. Like, the plugging. Oh my, that’s the worst, most awkward metaphor ever. What I meant is – penetration.

But hey, when you look at it, a kiss also connects two bodies. The lips, and sometimes even tongues, connect. The kiss, as innocent as it seems, can fire up a huge stock of passion and desire. And these feelings, as we know, God reserved for marriage.

Let’s talk about the fire

I get it. There are different kinds of kisses. Like, you kiss your friends on the cheeks once in a while! Or when you were small, you were kissing your family members. And that is an innocent kiss indeed.

So yeah, the kisses are not always a sexual touch, they can be expressing affection, care or God knows what else, BUT… yeah, don’t leave just yet with “oh, then it’s totally okay” attitude.

Friend, let’s be honest. You’re dating this person. You are attracted to them. They simply look good and as much as you control any of the thoughts like this because you want to be pure, you want them. Oh, how much self-control it requires to feel the spark of the kiss and stop right there, not letting the thoughts explore what comes next, tame the body, and not sin.

Do you really think you have that much of a power to hold up the devil? I certainly do not think that of myself *sad sip of tea*.

Oh, how many devastating testimonies I’ve heard!

“Marysia, how do I stop it? We did it. And then we did it again”.

“I slept with her and I feel horrible about it”.

“I let him kiss me. And then it just felt too good… I feel so dirty”.

You know what started all these tragedies? A kiss. This innocent, small kiss. All it takes to burn the whole village is a small match.

I know so many – too many! – Christian couples that broke each other’s trust by allowing themselves to kiss freely. Devil does not need much encouragement – dark alley and a goodbye kiss are enough for him.

Let’s talk about the Gift

I am sure you are wise enough to determine for yourself and answer – can Christian kiss before marriage?

Sex is one of the most beautiful gifts from God for you and your spouse – it is wrapped carefully and peaking is not the smartest decision. Too rapidly opened gift falls apart. Shame, guilt, and regret – that’s what will accompany you.

I know you are strong, I do not doubt that. But believe me or not, the true love, the desire, is stronger than you.

So secure yourself with a good shield. Face the temptation before it arrives. Love God more than yourself. Believe me, in a few months you will be lying in your lover’s arms, thanking God and yourself that you did not peak into the gift too soon.

And it will feel incredibly good.

You Need More Guidance To Stay Pure in Your Relationship? Let Me Help You:

digital image of christian dating ebook on ipad screen
Love, Marysia

Comments 23

  1. More ideas and God bless you richly,I might not be a relationship but I just have to click on it and read I just don’t know why but sha I did get wisdom from it.
    More ink to your pen

  2. I am not in a relationship but I really loved this but how else can one be intimate with their partner before they get married??

    1. Hello Sandra! This is a good question. I do believe that God reserved the whole intimacy for marriage. Of course, physical affection is important to bond in a relationship, but there are gestures like holding hands, hugging etc. that bring couple closer together without compromising on purity. And also, the foundation for a healthy relationship is much deeper than that – it covers deep conversations, praying together. I write more about it in my e-book about pure Christian dating.

      I also have an article that answers your question more deeply – right here 🙂

      Blessings!
      ~Marysia

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