Dating is one of the most exciting stages of life. It’s full of emotions, butterflies in the stomachs, and affection. Ah, right, there is this hard-to-figure-out physical sphere of a relationship. Especially when you are a follower of Christ. Naturally, while dating, you want to know the answer to “What can Christian couples do sexually before marriage?”.
This article is not meant to shame you or make you feel bad about your choices. I just want to talk to you about these crucial things, as a sister to sister/brother. So, to make a friendly atmosphere, I’m inviting you to my yacht to drink some coffee on it and talk, staring at the ocean. Ok, the yacht is not mine. Never mind, let’s sit on the peer instead, shall we?
Before we start, I want to know why you’re here. Out of pure curiosity? Or, maybe you are in a new relationship and you simply wonder what can Christian couples do sexually before marriage. Also, the third option is you did something that seems too much and you feel guilty. Want to validate if you crossed the line.
No matter the reason, I respect it and am not going to judge you. We all make mistakes. But we have a Father who forgives. And He points the way. So, common, let’s talk about the subject. Pour some coffee or tea into your cup, and let’s begin.
The Reservation of Intimacy
God reserved sex for marriage, and I hope it is clear for you, my dear reader. But then, obviously, there exist other behaviors that are not “sex” from let’s say medical perspective, but they are considered intimacy. We will not talk about specifics in this article, because I do not wish to embarrass you (or myself!) by bringing up all the stuff you can do in bed.
But let’s imagine something for a while. What if we assumed that by “intimacy is reserved for marriage” the Bible meant only ekhem, the main action? Like, you know, don’t make me say it. Okay, okay, I will. Penetration! There.
In this case, everything else, any foreplay, touch, etc. could be performed easily, with anyone. Oh dear reader, wouldn’t it feel so wrong? That’s why the more you can reserve for a future spouse, the better. God wants intimacy to be full-package gift, not just the last left piece.
Do not view God as sternly forbidding you to do something before marriage, He rather makes sure you’ll get the best you can after the vows are spoken. Actually, the doctors and all sorts of important people (for example in this article) discover that the happiest marriages contain people that have only one sexual partner. Each other.
Okay, so after this introduction, tell me what you think so far *looking at you with curiosity, sipping the coffee*.
Still not sure? All right, let me tell you then what can Christian couples do sexually before marriage:
The Main Criteria of What Can Christian Couples Do Sexually Before Marriage
I’ll give you specific examples in a minute, but in the future, if you are not sure if something is okay, or not okay before marriage, use this category.
If you would do x to your brother/sister, it’s okay. Otherwise, it isn’t.
Wow, that sounds stern, doesn’t it? Well, duh *nodding politely*. But that’s true – before marriage that’s who you are. Brother and sister in Christ. Before you commit and officially become a married couple, you are not receiving the privileges of being a husband and a wife. If somebody is your girlfriend/boyfriend, it does not mean they are yours.
Yes, you guessed correctly. I also think that Christians should not kiss before marriage. If you want to know more about it, head to this article.
Also, another thing that can help you distinguish what can Christian couples do sexually before marriage is… now, that’s an interesting one. If somebody caught you doing x, would you feel embarrassed? If so, then well… Embarrassment is a natural reaction to being caught doing something that’s not right.
I know it seems like you need to limit physical affection in your relationship to a minimum. And it might be hard, I know. Especially when you are truly attracted to your date. Now, I have great tips for you that make the temptation less powerful and help you wait with sex till marriage right here.
All right, all right, I see your face. You know what you shouldn’t do with your date, but now you are curious about what you actually can do.
You Know the Answer…
Yes, you do! Do not hide behind your cup, I still can see your eyes.
Because oh my, it speaks for itself. What can Christian couples do sexually before marriage? The answer is NOTHING. Any sexual activity should happen only and entirely inside the marriage. Anything that ignites your passion, or makes you sexually excited, is a no-no for now.
Affection – holding hands, hugs, etc. – sure. Passionate kisses, too-close hugs – no! Do not waste such a wonderful gift. Do not bite an apple that you did not put a ring on. Ok, it sounded very weird. But you get the sense of this clumsy metaphor. Do not take what’s not yours – and after it is yours, you’ll be able to take it abundantly.
I’ll spill some tea (or coffee) now. Even though we had strict rules with my now husband, back then boyfriend, about physical affection, once we crossed the line. Since a kiss on the cheek is by no means intimate in Slavic culture, and it did not seem “sexual”, we decided to do this. And one day, only by kissing each other’s cheeks the fire burned in us. We stopped it before the devil could lead us further into sin, but yeah, there was a dangerous moment.
That’s why please, my dear reader, never underestimate the power of intimacy and passion. Do not do anything to light the fire up too soon, even if it means limiting the physical affection to holding hands only. I promise, after you get married, it will all turn out to be worth waiting.
So now, after all of this, share in the comments – what can Christian couples so sexually before marriage? I’ll sit there with my coffee and wait 🙂
Want to Learn More About Purity? Need Some Help With Defeating Temptations? You Need Some Boundaries in Your Relationship? I Have Something That Will Help 🙂
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