So you’re back, dear reader – I’m so glad! I treat it as my mission to give you new tips and advice on Christian relationships every week and answer all of your questions (yes, exactly, no taboos here!). This time the question sounds “Is dating a non Christian a sin?”.
Let’s think about it all together. If I’m correct, this is not only a hypothetical question but rather an urge to find out if the situation you are in is okay. Or maybe it is your sister who started dating a non believer… Or, third scenario, you have a crush on somebody who is not Jesus’s disciple.
Whatever the reason is, my reader, I’m glad you asked. Because it shows you care and you want to make sure you walk the right path. So no judgment from my side. The truth is, we, Christians, often find ourselves in no-so-Christian situations. But then, oh how blessed we are, God is taking us out. Whether it is through the Bible, the visions, dreams, or sometimes somebody like blogger Marysia, your online friend 🙂
So, my dear, it’s time to sit together as a friend with a friend, preferably with a cup of tea (I’m a tea addict, you’ve probably noticed if you are a regular). So, let’s dive in and answer the question “Is dating a non Christian a sin?”.
Let’s Check the Source
You know what I always say whenever something is not clear for me in life? Whenever in doubt, check the Bible. I know it sounds like a cliché, yet at the same time, it is such a waste not to use the manual that the Creator of the world left us.
True, it does not talk about everything, at least literally. But hey, actually, it talks very specifically about entering relationships with unbelievers, let’s see this:
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14).
The instructions are clear. Bible seems to be answering our question “Is dating a non Christian a sin?”. All right, let’s be fair, it does not name it a sin in the passage. But, as you probably noticed, my smart reader, the Bible also does not recommend it. The reason is simple – light cannot be partners with darkness.
I am aware this passage can make you angry. Because why would we judge somebody by their faith? Well… actually, it makes the most sense. The values and standards we follow in life are dictated by what we believe in. So you, a follower of Christ, will do whatever you can to fight for the Kingdom of God. Even if it means you need to sacrifice yourself.
And somebody who is not in the Heavenly Army? They will either run away in the crisis and leave you alone in the battle or worse, turn against you to save themselves.
Let’s Defeat the Lies
More people than I can count came to me with frowned eyebrows and sternly said “I can bring them to Jesus”. Oh, honey. Yes, you c a n, but not like that… Dating is not sharing the Gospel, it rather does not opposite. It shows the other person they are more important to you than God’s commandments. Also, it’s not on you if they will be saved. Yes, you can talk, share, etc., but the eventual decision is not your responsibility.
Hoping they will change because of you will just lead you astray. And even if, somehow, they will see your faith and come to Christ, what warranty do you have if it’s sincere? They might be doing that just because they want to be with you.
You are also responsible for your spirituality. And if somebody is sabotaging your growth, it’s not a good base for a romantic relationship. Dating is so much more than friendship – because it’s supposed to lead to marriage.
And marriage is a holy union, and it can only work well if two people are on the same page, especially with such fundamental things as faith.
I’m saying it all not to shame you, by no means. I just care about you and I would hate you to get stuck in a bad situation. Especially when God has so much more to offer.
I know this person might be great, and if it is just the beginning, the emotions are high. You simply do not imagine dating anybody else. But God sees further into the future. So you can either stay with this person and well, let the darkness enter your life step by step, or… simply leave.
So Is Dating a Non Christian a Sin?
Well, the Bible does not specifically call it a sin, but every other action that can come out of such a situation can be a sin.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)
I know it’s hard. You like this person, maybe even fell in love with them, and it feels like God is “limiting” you. The thing is, my dear reader, you cannot see the whole picture yet. In a few years, you will be thankful to yourself that you broke up with this person. Because you’ll be happily married to a true disciple of Christ.
Believe me, I know what I’m saying 🙂
Well, “Is dating a non Christian a sin”? No, but just because something is not a sin does not mean it does not open the door for the devil to come in. For example, you want to keep purity before marriage because you trust God that’s what should be done. Why would your date, who does not have the same standards, make it easy for you? You can talk about it and they can agree, but do not be deceived, my dear reader. You have deeper reasons to wait – they don’t.
It might seem positive and colorful at the beginning, but when the first butterflies go away, you will start seeing that it is not the brightest situation. And instead of growing spirituality, it either stopped improving or worse – went down… This is sadly, the most common when it comes to dating non believers.
Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet? (Amos 3:3)
I know, I know. *sipping the tea and looking at you comforting way*. I know it’s not easy. But in situations like this, we are being tested. If you can leave this person, and sacrifice this relationship, God will make sure to reward you. I mean, remember what happened to Abraham when he was ready to give up his own son?
So dear reader, what do you say now? My point was not to convince you on “Is dating a non Christian a sin” subject, but rather to tell you which direction leads to the light. And which sadly ends in the darkness.
The decision is entirely yours. But at the same time, consequences will be too. As a person who once had similar doubts, let me tell you honestly. This small chunk of pain that you will need to suffer if you decide to break up with your date or not pursue a relationship if you were wise not to step into it too soon… it wouldn’t compare to all disappointments, pain, and brokenness if you decided to go further into this situation.
It’s better to be safe than sorry. Just as the passage from the Book of Amos says – how do you expect to meet at the destination if you are not heading in the same direction? Because I doubt the goal of your date/crush is to create a God-centered marriage, spread the Gospel and become more and more like Jesus, seek His Kingdom, bring Him glory in whatever they do…
So how, my dear reader,, can you walk in separate directions and not fight about what step to take next?
Sadly, it’s impossible.
Is Dating a non Christian a Sin? Well, Can We Be Friends with the World?
Ha, good question. Let’s see what the Bible says:
You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (James 4:4)
Wow, these are some strong words. In this case the answer to “Is dating a non Christian a sin?” is very clear and stern.
Looks like there is no middle ground – you either love Jesus above all and seek His Kingdom, or you’re heading towards the darkness. Because I honestly think that if the Gospel does not impact every single sphere of one’s life, they do not truly understand its meaning.
You’ve been saved, bought for an expensive price (Somebody literally needed to pay with His life). You can represent this sacrifice with pure and Godly life or… go astray. And dating non believers is exactly this – going astray from your faith. Anything else is a lie. You won’t save them. But you can lose yourself along the way.
This life, including dating, will be over. But the Kingdom of God will always be there, having its triumph.
So my dear reader, pick your side wisely.
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