Teamwork In Marriage: 15 Best Ways To Improve It

Since you’ve arrived here I assume you are married. And more, you want to improve your relationship, specifically teamwork in marriage. This means you are a mature partner wanting to work on important things. Believe it or not, the will to improve is the first step to improvement.

So, before I shower you with practical tips and useful advice about building up teamwork in marriage, let’s fully understand what this expression means.

What IS Teamwork In Marriage?

When you think about the team, you think of a group of people (minimally two) working on the same goal, whether it is a project at work, a biology essay, or making a pizza. Sure, you can make pizza alone, but it is way more fun to make it in a team!

Here I go again, going into the food topic. What can I do about the obvious fact that food metaphors fit practically everywhere? 🙂

But back to marriage! Teamwork in marriage means going in the same direction, working on achieving mutual goals (#couplegoals :)), supporting each other, sharing the work, and choosing each other loyally in success and failure.

This is my definition and I am sure whatever you would add to this list is correct.

Now, let’s talk about all of the points mentioned above and then I will give you a few tips on improving each of these spheres. Some of them will be quick and easy and some more advanced so that you can pick whichever suits you and your marriage best. Let’s dive into this water!

Going In the Same Direction

Teamwork in marriage can be achieved only if you are looking and going in the same direction together. Life is a journey and it is good to pick the same destination.

What I mean here, is that teamwork starts when you two want the same crucial things. Of course, we all are different and dream of different things, that’s why the color of the house or how to name a hamster is not the criteria.

The problem happens for example when one of you wants to have a big family and the other chooses not to have kids. When one of you wants to grow in and pass on Christian faith and the other wants to raise kids with atheistic views. Or, if one of you always chooses McDonalds and the other KFC.

These are the extreme examples (please forgive me the last one, I couldn’t help it :)), yet they explain what is NOT going in the same direction.

The question is, if you have different dreams and backgrounds, how do you start looking in the same direction?

Tips:

1. Talk about your dreams and hopes for the future. It sounds like a cliché, but conversations like that are important to understand each other.

2. Make a vision board for your marriage. Seriously! I know that vision boards are a thing and everyone should have one, yet merging two into one can help you pick things that truly matter for you both. Who knows, maybe this will help you find goals for your marriage that you wouldn’t think of alone.

3. Respect each other, yet be ready to compromise. Ha, what it practically means? First, not making fun of your spouse’s dreams, no matter how silly they might seem.

If you’ve read/watched Little Women you probably remember what Meg said to Jo: “Just because my dreams are different than yours, doesn’t mean they are less important”. Exactly! Being ready to compromise is to sacrifice something for the sake of another person.

For example, if you want to have a bunch of dogs, but your husband is allergic, then for the sake of your marriage, skip this dream, at least for a while.

Working on Achieving Mutual Goals

Yay, I love this one. Do you ever get touched when you see couples do something together? Like, lose weight together for instance. Or work on gardening. No matter, what it is, doing it together is teamwork in marriage.

Maybe you’re at the point when you cannot find any mutual goal that you two have. No worries! I’ve been there too and I am sure many healthy couples were as well.

We are people so we improve and evolve and our interests might change. So if your husband is into the gym and healthy food and you want to become the baker master, then it is fine. I would even say that it’s good! You can learn from each other and hey, maybe one day start a fit baking company!

Looking for mutual goals is not a shame if they do not appear “naturally”. These goals do not need to be big, they can be as simple as a small hobby that you two pursue together. Cooking together? Fishing? Reading books? There is no wrong answer to that.

Tips:

1. Try to get involved in your spouse’s hobbies no matter how “not your thing” they seem. Go to the gym with your husband. Go fishing. Play Minecraft together. This might not result in you suddenly becoming into this hobby, but it might make you involved in his goals in this sphere.

2. Try different things from taking dance classes together to learning a new language. If you do not find anything that can excite you both, then at least your goal will be to explore possibilities together – isn’t having adventures a mutual goal? 🙂

3. If you cannot find a single hobby that would create mutual goals for you, then hey, there is always a household and your relationship itself. You can set goals like “Clean the whole house together once a week” or “Listen to the marriage podcast when we travel”. Any goal achieved together improves your teamwork in marriage and gives this awesome feeling “We did it!”.

Supporting Each Other to Have Teamwork In Marriage

The whole earth could not believe in you, but if your spouse does, you won’t lack support. Believing in each other and cheering each other up can do miracles.

Yet, this is not always easy – you know your spouse’s flaws and disadvantages, so believing they can achieve whatever they wish can be challenging. But hoping for the best and seeing in each other qualities that are not there yet, but can be created, helps A LOT.

One of the most powerful ways to express support towards your spouse is the compliments and words of encouragement. You can do it, I believe in you, Well done, and more personalized ones like Remember when you nailed X? This is why I am sure you can handle Y, You are so hard-working and focused that I am sure you will achieve it can build up the teamwork in marriage.

Tips:

1. Talk about each other’s goals and dreams showing positive affirmation, no matter how you feel about these goals.

Of course, you can express that you are not sure that it is the right thing to do, yet avoid making fun of your husband because, for example, he wants to build a house on the tree when hey, there are much more needed things around the house to be done.

Support means “I know this is important for you so even if I don’t fully understand, I will encourage you”.

2. Be there for them if it fails. Failure happens and the reaction “Oh, I knew this!” is not the most loving one. Marriage is a safe space to share everything, even things we are not proud of.

Comforting your spouse and saying that you still, no matter what, believe in them, brings the teamwork in marriage to the next level.

3. Learn the sandwich method if you need to criticize your spouse. Do not jump at them, do not accuse or discourage, but wrap the advice in affirming words from two sides.

Example: “I see how much you’re focused on your diet and you have some amazing results, hun! I just miss our Fridays with pizzas, but I respect that you do not want to eat fast food anymore. So maybe, since I’ve noticed you also cook better, we could start making our homemade pizza?”. See how sweet it sounds? Not only did you compliment your spouse at least twice, but you did not accuse them of making a mistake since you used the “I” statement.

Sharing The Work To Have Teamwork In Marriage

Teamwork in marriage applies also to chores around the house, family relationships, or managing finances.

If one person does everything, then it has nothing to do with the team. Chores and responsibilities should be shared based on your expectations and capability. It does need to (and it shouldn’t) be 50/50 in every sphere though.

The happiest couples are sharing the work so none of the partners feels overwhelmed.

If a husband assumes that his wife will do everything around the house without asking her then it might end up not too well.

Tips:

1. Make a list of all tasks that need to be done around the house and agree on who is primarily responsible for what. This way wife will not feel like it is assumed that everything is her responsibility and the husband will be able to get involved in the building household management process.

2. Step out and help your spouse in things out of your “list” – if you see your husband is tired after dinner and washing the dishes after this meal is his chore, do it instead of him to bless him. And do not expect anything back – teammates sometimes take over their tasks in a Family Project out of pure love.

3. Make sure to talk about every upcoming event or project. Family coming over? Who will cook, who will go shopping, etc? It is important for things to be clear from the beginning – then you do feel the teamwork in marriage spirit!

Choosing Each Other Loyally

I love this one because it emphasizes that marriage is a team no matter what. Choosing each other does not mean not cheating on each other only. It means loving, prioritizing, and admiring no matter what.

Teammates don’t go around and complain about each other, do they? This means that teamwork in marriage can be seen in the way you speak about your spouse in public.

It might be tempting to complain about them, shame them, and express how bad your marriage is, etc. But it does not help anyone! Nor you, nor your husband, nor even the people you’re sharing it with.

Loyalty is the crown of teamwork in marriage.

Tips:

1. Always talk about your spouse in public in a positive way. You might be in a stage when it would be natural to complain, yet it is way better not to – you are a team.

2. Prioritize your spouse over everyone else (including kids!). Before you plan your weekend with girlfriends, ask your husband. Before you throw a party at your house, talk to your spouse. It is important to make each other feel number 1. Bonus: you’re giving your kids a fantastic example of a loyal team when you prioritize each other. This is the safest model of family.

3. Emphasize that you’re married in the situations that require it. So, do not take off your wedding ring when you’re going to work, for instance. It sounds obvious, but I found out not for everyone!

Be kind to others, but do not spend suspiciously much time with the other sex. Do not send others signals of being single, but rather make sure that everybody sees that you not only have a spouse but are loyal to your teammate.

Building Teamwork In Marriage Is Fun!

It is so nice to grow together and improve the marriage! Sometimes it will be hard and it will not seem like you two are a team at all.

Yet, it is worth fighting because commitment, love, and union are such noble values. If you’re at the beginning of this journey, make sure to move on to this article. Point #4 is crucial!

Which tip will you use this week to build up the teamwork in your marriage? Share in the comments! 🙂