11 red flags in a man when dating (if you see them, DO NOT MARRY this knucklehead)

It’s hard to spot the red flags in a man when dating, especially when you’re SO attracted to him. The butterflies are flying around, and the soap bubbles are covering your eyes. How can you be sober and spot what you need to spot before it’s too late?

Sometimes we fall into the circle of justifying suspicious behaviors. We want the relationship to work out, so even if something seems not right, we shrug our shoulders and think “Well, nobody is perfect”.

Yet, such an attitude led many to harm, tears, and broken hearts. I don’t want this for you, my dear reader. That’s why I’ve decided to write an article warning you about the most popular no-nos in men.

These red flags in a man when dating appear more often than they should and sometimes we want to see them, sometimes we prefer not to. But since you are here, you want to see these red flags when dating, not when it is too late and we married this man. If you notice even just one of them – RUN!

1. Manipulating!

Oh gosh, I hate this one. It’s one of the most harmful red flags in a man when dating. He wants you to do X, and he pushes you to do it, even though you are not really sure about it. Green flag – he understands and RESPECTS your refusal. Red flag – he is trying to make you feel bad and eventually change your decision.

The most common manipulation is for you to sleep with him. You are not ready or just like me, you simply stick to the rule “No sex before marriage”, but he keeps on pushing. “If you loved me, you would do it for me”. Ha! He is the victim here, right? If you only loved him… but let me tell you, if he makes you feel like you have to break your rules to “prove” your love, he should do too. But he doesn’t, so do not stay with such a knucklehead – RUN!

Men who manipulate are emotionally immature and will never be able to provide a safe and secure relationship. They do not care about you as their partner, but rather about what they can get from you. And they will do ugly things to get what they want.

If you or anybody else spotted manipulation in your boyfriend, then there’s no time to think. The truth is, if he was able to do it once, he would more likely do it again.

2. Talking to other girls

This might seem controversial because I get it, some men do have female friends, buuuut I think that if he was seriously interested in you, not to mention planning to marry you one day, he would limit contacts with other girls. Just because you would be the most important to him. It never feels nice to be one of many, and if he is not willing to at least limit interactions with other girls, then it means you are not his priority. Period.

There is also another reason why this one is among the red flags in a man when dating It can be dangerous for him to have a bestie who is a girl too. Hypothetically if it gets bad between the two of you, and he complains to her about you, she will ekhem support him and we both know how it usually ends.

The dating stage is a preparation for marriage – and in marriage, you are a team, you are for each other. The third person is not welcome in such a relationship.

Again, if he is not ready to sacrifice for you, apparently, he is not mature enough for a serious relationship. You know what you need to do. RUN.

3. Red Flags in a Man When Dating – Not introducing you to his family

This definitely is one of the most annoying red flags. I know the situation might be hard – family issues are happening, sadly, more often than we would like them to. But if everything is relatively normal, his constant push-back from introducing you to his parents is just showing a lack of commitment. Because, logically, if he had serious plans with you, he would love for you to get to know his family – I mean, you would soon be part of it!

I get it, for every couple, such a step will happen at a different time. But it never should cause any of you to feel uncomfortable, and insecure and question the other person’s intentions.

A man who is avoiding this confrontation probably does not treat you as a potential future wife, but a short-term adventure. And these, my beautiful lady, are not for women like you – your value is way higher than that of these kinds of guys. Soo… yes, you guessed it! RUN!

4. Not respecting your boundaries

If you drew the line in one place, and he constantly keeps on pushing it further and further, well… I will just repeat myself, I said that he is a knucklehead, and again in this case he truly is. If something is too much for you, and you clearly express it, he should respect it.

I am talking here not only about physical boundaries, like not being touched in a certain way yet, but also about emotional boundaries, like not going on a one-to-one trip with him. If you feel something does not seem right, you are probably correct.

Mutual respect is crucial in every relationship. If you do not feel respected as a woman by this man, then, let’s be honest, you will never do. If somebody is causing you to doubt and have insecurities, this is one of the red flags in a man when dating.

A man that cannot wait is… yes, a knucklehead. The man who considers your boundaries and is willing to keep them as long as it’s needed – oh yeah, this is the right guy for you, honey! But if he is the opposite, then – yes, yes, yes, RUN!

5. Red Flags in a Man When Dating – Being aggressive

This seems obvious, but unfortunately, it is not. Aggression can have different forms – from the most extreme like beating, to throwing things around or bombarding you with truly mean messages after an argument. Even if it is a “soft aggression” (ha! Contradiction in itself!), it means he cannot control his anger.

Of course, once in a while, when there is an argument, all of us behave the way we normally don’t behave and say mean things. Yet, there is a difference between showing anger in a healthy, not harming way versus being a danger to one’s environment.

Aggression should be managed way before he even enters a relationship with you. I know, he might have promised you he will change and fix it blah blah blah. You shouldn’t care how many times he assured you this was the last time – you know he’ll do it again and again. That’s why, my dear, you should… let’s finish this sentence together – RUN!

6. Watching porn

Sadly, it has gotten so normalized nowadays, that it is as hard to find a man who doesn’t watch porn as it is hard to find a full pack of Lays. But! My husband is living proof that pure, respectful men like him exist 😊 Believe me, it is the best feeling ever – being the only woman your man sees naked. No comparison, no expectations!

I think that watching porn damages the brain and simply makes a man view women as sexual objects. Not to mention that no matter how perfect your figure is or how wild you are in bed, he will still probably expect more from you and he will never be fully satisfied.

The world might say what it wants, but I’ll stick to saying that watching porn is not only one of ed flags in a man when dating, it is also… cheating. Even though these people are “just” on the screen”, they are different people! And sex was only reserved to happen inside of marriage. Period. I honestly believe a man should be free from porn for at least a year before he even starts thinking about dating. This can save him, and his future partner, lots of pain.

If one naked woman is not enough for a man, he is not mature enough, and there is nothing to be added but the advice for you to RUN.

7. Red Flags in a Man When Dating – Showing unreasonable jealousy

There are some situations when jealousy is understandable and even healthy. We all can think of examples of it. But there is also unhealthy, toxic jealousy.

If he feels hurt whenever you’re meeting with your girlfriends, not inviting him – that’s concerning. When you go on a family weekend trip and even though you spend every single weekend with him, he gets mad and convinces you to stay with him – that’s concerning. If he tries to consume all of your time and thoughts, not letting you focus on studying, working or simply doing what you love, like let’s say eating nachos and watching a girly Korean drama on Netflix – that’s concerning.

You need to stay in a relationship. Have your hobbies, social life, and things that you enjoy. It’s not fair for him to be jealous of that.

Generally, if he expects you to give up on your social life, family, and passions – well, this is toxic and you know it. And here comes the part that you already know by heart – RUN!

8. Treating you like a bank

Oh gosh, I don’t even know how men like that can survive without feeling ashamed of themselves. I am not saying every man should be crazily rich, but he should at least be able to provide enough for himself. If he is lazy and does not want to work, or worse, he turns everything around and says he is working on his business blah blah blah, and one day he will make thousands of dollars… Well, do I even need to comment on that?

It’s okay for you to pay for a date once in a while. But your man should not expect you to do so. He is a man, a provider, if he goes around and falls into debt, of course, he will not be financially responsible once married.

If he is not trying to put together a budget with you now, do not expect him to do it in the future. You need a man, not a baby boy! So, what do you need to do? Yes, that’s right. RUN!

9. Red Flags in a Man When Dating – Punishing with silence

You did something that he did not necessarily like – he gets upset, and instead of talking it through with you like a normal and healthy human being, he ignores you – even for days. It is his way to show you how much you do not deserve him at this very moment. Hahaha, I think it’s the other way around.

He doesn’t deserve YOU! Signs of withdrawal are always impolite and are simply disrespectful. Not to mention extremely immature. Silence treatment is happening because partners are too proud to apologize to each other. And this is just wrong – that’s why I put it among the red flags in a man when dating.

So if you see such a tendency in your boyfriend, I would suggest you to… aha, yes, exactly. RUN!

10. Any addiction

I know you are aware of huge, alarming red flags in a man when dating – like drugs or alcohol. These things are dangerous and if a man did not handle them before he got potentially interested in you, he is not ready for a serious relationship. I know you’re smart and you know it. But there are also “softer” addictions.

Anything that leads to self-destruction, no matter how slowly, is a bad addiction.

For example, I knew a man… no, a BOY when I think about it more deeply, who was addicted to League of Legends. No matter how cool The Leagues of Legends are – addiction is addiction. I know what you’re thinking – you could have helped him get out of it! No, honey, it is never our job to do so. What we should do instead? RUN!

11. Anything that is a red flag for your morals and values

For instance, for me, one of the red flags is a man when dating is when a guy adds milk to his tea, ugh!  It is really concerning! Okay, just kidding, but you get what I’m trying to say 😉 If some kind of behavior or habit is making you think “hmmm”, then it is not good – but not like intrigued hmmm, but rather the suspecting one, I believe you understand the difference.

Let me give you an example from my life – I was going with my friend for a walk when suddenly a dog ran out from one of the nearby yards and started barking at us. My friend jumped and hid behind me. Wow, really? I needed a man who was able to protect me, not a coward. So I ran. And if there is anything that makes you feel concerned about the man, no matter how small it might seem – run.

These are the common red flags in a man when dating and we should avoid them at all costs. We are looking for serious, mature men, not boys, aren’t we? So if you see any of these common red flags or – God forbid! – more than one… let’s scream it together. RUN!