Now, I know I am probably packing myself into dangerous territory. I’ve decided to write about submission – talk about playing with the fire, right? 😉
I wanted to avoid this subject because it is so sensitive and many women disagree on it, yet I knew God was calling me to do that in courage. And who am I to say “No” to God? I had no choice but to SUBMIT.
I do not intend to make the feminists angry – I simply want to present the other perspective on the idea of submission. The perspective that is so often misunderstood.
Let’s make this conversation friendly, shall we? Sit down with me and grab your pie. 🙂 Because nothing sweetens the hard, bitter conversations that a good dessert!
Why Submission Is Such a Hot Topic?
Well, that’s easy. Women were fighting for the right to vote, education, and free choice of occupation. So now submission seems like a danger to them. Potential to take away the freedom that was gained.
Submission seems limiting, not fair, and unnecessary. But is it, really?
I thought the very same way only a few years ago. I’ve seen so many bad men, selfish leaders, and weak authorities who were leading people, including women astray.
Submit to them? No, thank you.
But then there was an enlightenment. I realized there is a person, a man that I would submit to freely. Because He is leading the right, wise way, shows the fulfillment of life, cares about others more than about himself, is kind yet powerful, accepting and loving, yet stern and intolerant. A man with values that will lead me, but also cherish me.
Aha, you guesses right. This man is Jesus.
If I know that there is Jesus who knows better, is way way way (3225 way) wiser, and will make decisions about my life that would be eventually better than any decision I could make on my own… Isn’t it smart and safe for me to submit to such a man and God in one?
Okay, but it does not mean I will agree to submission to other men!
Right. Jesus, as perfect as He is, there is just one Jesus. You might see men who copy His hairstyle or wear the same sandals, but it does not change the fact that He is One and Only.
But what if… what if He is One, but can be in many at once? What if a sinful, bad, and selfish man could somehow absorb Jesus and therefore become a great leader to whom submitting would be a pleasure?
I knew in theory it was possible, yet never seen an example of a man that good that I could just surrender and trust I’d be okay.
Nobody is perfect, true. But no man seemed close enough.
Probably you are in the same place – or at last were. Hoping that one day there will be a man who would actually deserve your submission. Or, maybe, you think that men generally do not deserve to lead. You hate them with your whole being because they’ve hurt you, used, or abused you.
Well, I feel you, sister. Some men are really bad people. But, so are women.
But before we talk about deserving the submission, let’s break up this word and explain once and for all what it means.
Submission – Meaning And Definition (see, it rhymes!)
Submission in easy words is accepting an authority. If you have a government and it has some rules which you obey – you submit to it, wanting or not wanting.
Submitting to a husband would accordingly mean accepting his leadership and authority and trusting him in major decisions.
Let me use an example. You know the series “The Chosen”? It is an awesome series about the life of Jesus Christ and His disciples.
There is a particular scene that caught my attention. Eden, Peter’s wife made some plans – she wanted to invite some people over. Peter, having his reasons, rejected this idea.
What did Eden do? She said something like “If my husband says no, I know he has a solid reason for it”. She did not argue, fight, or make a drama – she trusted him. Yes, maybe he was not right, and she had every right to lovingly discuss the matter with him, but the attitude of her heart was the essence of submission.
Submission is then being ready to put your absolute trust in your man.
Hey, But Does It Mean a Wife is Less?!
This is one of the most popular misconceptions about submission. It is absolutely not true.
If a wife is the counsel, comforter, help, queen of the home, lover, crown, delight… does it really sound like a weak position?
The wife’s position is strong. Submitting to her husband does not take away her value – it EXPOSES it. If you see a king with a beautiful queen by his side, do you really think she is being enslaved and powerless?
We can help our kings rule wisely and lovingly. What a mess if in a kingdom where the king and queen fight for the throne when they’re both wear different crowns.
What will the royal couple say to their Higher King after the kingdom is damaged, upside down, or simply crashed? “Well, I wanted the throne!”, “But, honey, I handed you this crown and many responsibilities and you just rejected that”, “No! Yes… I mean, I wanted the throne!”.
What are we fighting for? For a wife to be able to go out and work, rule over finances, and make major decisions? For children to be raised on their own because their parents are busy doing life?
We were fighting for a choice. Now we do not have any. We either work harder than men or we are left with nothing.
Man Is The Head
The Bible is clear about this topic – the man is the head of the family. The woman is equally important and loved but her role is simply different.
I’ve had some discussions with other women and a few times I’ve heard “Well, but I see it differently”. Okay, I respect your perspective, but the Bible is as clear and simple as it can be: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”.
I do not see much space for our own interpretations.
Of course, God knew it would be hard for women to do this. If it came naturally, there would be absolutely no need to write it.
Submitting of course does not mean to agree for anything your husband says, but respecting his opinion, trusting him completely, and being ready to compromise. Is it really such a scary thing?
The Beauty of Submission
When I see a loving, strong leading man, a beautiful wife, and a bunch of cute kids, I cannot think of a better word than harmony.
Nowadays culture tries to say something different, creating a view that the roles of genders can be switched, that God’s design failed, etc.
It is our choice what we believe, but it is hard to find God’s voice in today’s world mess.
I believe that submission is beautiful and safe. I want to be led. Having a husband who points the way and takes care of me well, I feel protected in any sense possible. Nobody is enslaving me or pushing me down. This is my aware choice – because I trust God and His design.
My family did not have a good leader. I do not want to talk against the man who was my Mum’s partner at the time, yet… our family was a mess at some point. If not financially, then emotionally.
I was scared of him. He was not an authority for me, he was somebody I was scared of. Which leads me to another point:
How to Submit to a Hard Man?
Sadly, too many men do not build their leadership on love but on fear. The family is happy but as soon as the father comes back home, everybody trembles.
And then a wife goes against the husband and we have a bad and a good cop. Not really a friendly family model, right?
The thing is, gentle submission can prove to a man that he does not need to base his headship on fear. Yes, so many men will never understand the power of love (and more importantly, Love meaning Jesus). But still, your effort can actually make him a better leader.
Of course, if he is leading you to the places that go against God’s values, you have a right to disobey. Lord’s will always comes first.
So What, Submission Is the Remedy for Everything?
Well… look. If we decide that a wife should be the head and the husband should submit, there will be a huge mess. Emotionality, drama, fighting – you have it all guaranteed.
And trying to equalize the roles? It’s like merging two opposite actors into one. You will have a creature that looks just weird and is not sure what to do.
There is beauty in the fact that we’re so different.
Men have this urge to lead, love, and sacrifice – that’s why they can die for their country and bleed out for their families.
Not saying women cannot! But they sacrifice differently – they can put aside their whole identity and dreams for the sake of kids.
A man proposes because the love initiates – and the submission reacts.
I Chose to Trust the Lord – Will You?
I’ve assumed that if God tells me to do something, He is right about it. I mean, He simply knows what’s best for me.
But He is giving us all a choice – you can go His way or your own.
I’m trying to submit to Alex, even if I still need to learn a lot and it is not easy. But he grows like this, and I grow too. I unfold God’s design page by page and guess what. I’m loving it.
And God? He has His glory out of it. And isn’t His glory what this whole world is about…?
Want to improve as a wife? Head on to this article.
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